Even though I read all the inspirational sayings when my kids were toddlers and teeny people- about how I should relish the moments with them and not sweat the small stuff and not care about the fact that my house looked like it was in various stages of a rummage sale half the time- my type A personality did not let me just be. And when I look at pictures of my kids and I when they were oh so little, I wish I would have spent more time soaking in their sweetness. I want to smell those baby heads again, I want my daughter to look at me and still think that I have all the answers and that she wants to be just like me when she grows up. I want her to run in the house and smother me with kisses the way she used to when she was four years old. And I want to go back and do it all again and this time when she smothers me I want to really marinate in her love and be fully present as opposed to spending time getting dog pee out of the carpet.
I want to watch her play dress up and prance around the house and sleep in her costume and tell me she wants to watch Cinderella for the umpteenth time. I honestly feel like time is slipping through my fingers- and I just want it to stop. So I am trying to be more mindful and more present. And just when I think my daughter has completely written me off and is fixated on her own little world, of which I am of no consequence, I find this little ditty she wrote about me in my inbox and of course my heart just melted. And it dawned on me that even when we think we are making no kind of impact on our kids; WE ARE. read more »