5 things I’ve learned about myself after 13 years of holding this title of Mommy

.

I’ve been a mother for 13 years- and I don’t think any of the advice I got about how all encompassing this job of raising another human would be- could have prepared me for how much my role as a parent has informed and shaped the way I live my life. The truth is- try as hard as I might it is REALLY hard for me to remember that 25 year old just married newlywed who got up in the morning and JUST FOCUSED on what lipstick I’d wear that day. Or that woman who would spend HOURS at flea markets searching for the perfect tea cup or who would get herself a pint of Thai Noodles and not leave the apartment for two days.

5 things I've learned about myself after 13 years of holding this title of Mommy

I’m not going to lie and say I don’t miss a little bit of that freedom that childless woman had-the ability to be so completely and utterly self absorbed and narcissistic– unfortunately I didn’t realize what I TRULY had until I became a mother. And while I have learned so much about my limitations and shortcomings in these past 12 years I’ve also uncovered things about myself I otherwise never would have come to know…

#1 Tom and Jerry is a REALLY funny cartoon. It’s true I never liked Tom and Jerry as a kid- I always thought it was weird watching all action and no dialogue. But since my son has been GLUED to their antics for the past 8 years I can say, I’ve learned to enjoy their repertoire- although I’ve had to point out more than several  dozen times that if Jerry gets steamrolled by a Mac truck he will survive- while my kid- won’t have the luxury of getting over it. ( I think the lesson is finally beginning to hold some weight with him).

#2 I have NO PATIENCE. Yeah, 13 years of motherhood and I still don’t know how to handle a kid asking me if he can eat  a brownie for dinner 18 thousand times until he wears me down to a little nub and I acquiesce .

#3 My memory is SHOT. I want to say that I am one of those  uber incredible moms who remembers her kids’ first words, the day they took their first steps and all those other milestones. I probably should have written them down- but I must have been too busy raising my kid to remember to DOCUMENT it all. And so I have been known to fudge those details when  my kids ask me for specifics.

#4 I have a REALLY hard time letting the mess just be. You’d think after reading all these pins about zen in motherhood and how happy kids whose houses are dirty are, and who mothers  don’t stress over papers, dust bunnies, toys and teen magazines strewn in ever nook and cranny are- but alas I CANNOT be one of those mothers. I cannot live in chaos, it is NOT happy for me- although perhaps my kids would disagree.  Perhaps this means I’m setting my kids up for a life in analysis, lamenting their anal retentive mother who vacuumed almost every other day and how it has either turned them into obsessive cleaners or created an aversion to mess and has caused them to be cast in an episode of HOARDERS.

#5 That I can’t nor do I even want to fathom a life without these kids and just hope I don’t screw them up too bad!

Happy Mother’s day- what have you learned about yourself since becoming a MOTHER?

Leave a Reply