Driving in a car with anyone for 18 hours is certainly an illuminating experience. For example I learned that my 13 year old shih tzu who was sitting on my lap for the bulk of those 18 hours has a serious gastrointestinal problem. I also learned that while I have poked fun at my husband for using the VERY SAME SPRINT flip phone he got back in 1998 — I can’t make this stuff up even if I tried– his phone was the only one that survived the entire 18 hours- whereas my smart phone crapped out after three hours and so did my car charger and therefore I was experiencing a full on anxiety attack- being unplugged from EVERYONE except my fellow car passengers which included lots of doggie gas and two kids who at points were literally beating the crap out of each other in the back seat all the while I kept attempting to recharge a dead horse of a phone to no avail.
However this unplugged experience provided me with ample time to get to know my husband on a much more intimate level- discover things he felt about me and even learn some tidbits about his childhood ( which he often has NO recollection of). In between my son asking me if I’d ever been “catfished” and my dog Lazer humping my daughter’s arm- here are some of the conversations my husband and I had:
#1 My husband: Who knew you loved Georgia strawberries? I never saw you eat anything with such vigor, and scarf down 20 berries without offering any to your husband and/or kids.
#2 My husband: do you want to go there? (a question he uttered at every major landmark including -South of the border– as he sped past said landmark at 75 Miles per hour )
#3 Me: You think that milk we left in the fridge before we left is still good? Him: oh my Gd I was just thinking the same thing…code word for we both can’t wait to get the hell out of this car.
#4 Him: I wonder who programs these GPS satellites…think of all the fights we had before we got this GPS..one less thing for you to yell at me about.
#5 -Him: Did you see that cow? Me: Yes I saw all 50 of them but thanks for pointing out number 51.
#6 Me what are you thinking about? Him: how I can manage to spend this entire vacation wearing just one pair of jeans and one hoodie… (to which I can now say was: mission accomplished).
#7 Me: We have so much laundry to do when we get home. Him: This what you’re thinking about laundry you have to do three days from now? Me: I know you are going to sneak your dirty clothes back in the drawers…
#8 Him: Oh look, Howard Johnson that’s where my father used to send me to the car to sit by myself because I couldn’t decide what to order from the menu.
#9 Me: This coffee is so hot and bitter why didn’t you put any sugar in it you know I need sugar in my coffee? Him: Actually I went to the coffee that said extra hot and poured you some because I knew you’d burn your tongue.
#10 Me: I cannot believe you didn’t put toilet paper down on that funky-ass bathroom you took our son to- which looked like a scene out of a Tarantino film. Him: I’ve never put paper down on any toilet seat and I’m still alive.
So- does any of this sound familiar??