3 Reasons Every Woman Needs a Gusband aka a Gay Husband… That’s right!
I was recently out with a bunch of girlfriends and as we were busy swapping anecdotes about our lives an experience I had over a year ago came flooding back to me as one of them divulged that she had recently been to a party sans husband and found herself with NO ONE TO SIT WITH.
Can you imagine- it’s not like she was in a room of strangers- she was surrounded by acquaintances and yet she found herself sitting at a table for one with only several cocktails to keep her company.
Her story felt eerily similar to something that happened to me ( minus the cocktails which would have given me at the very least that liquid courage to power through) and so I had to regale her with my similar experience which imparted the life-long lesson that, every woman needs a Gusband. So what unfolded that led me to that startling discovery about life? Keep Reading!
3 Reasons Every Woman Needs a Gusband aka a Gay Husband
I was recently at an event where ADULTS were saving seats for one another and well- I HAD NO WHERE TO SIT. Like literally I felt like I was immediately transported back to a John Hughes teen film where I was that GEEK carrying a tray of food (in this case it would be an Israeli salad) and had to do that walk of shame past all the tables where there were napkins on seats and women whispering in hushed tones to one another and well I felt like a big fat L was branded smack dead center in the middle of my forehead.
I know what you are thinking and so am I- woman you are 46 years old- just grab your Israeli salad, hold your head high and sit wherever you damn well please. And while I could not agree with you more- I feel like in so many ways- even though we think we leave high school behind when we are 17, there are certain social situations where it all comes FLOODING BACK and you feel like Martha Dumptruck in Heathers and all you want to do is be swallowed by a hole in the floor– or if you are REALLY LUCKY you’ve got a gusband at your side. Full disclosure, right before I got married I had a gusband. He was my roommate’s brother and when I got engaged he and I would lie in bed and talk about what kind of wedding I would have and the dress I’d choose- and well being with him was about as close to magic as it gets. With that being said here are three reasons why every Woman Needs a Gusband aka a Gay Husband:
#1 A Gusband is someone you can take to parties like all the Real Housewives of Bravo TV do who can help you navigate social BS with a smile. Here is an example- when you can’t seem to find a seat, because others are saving seats for their friends, your gusband will look at you as you do that walk through the room and smile and tell you to KEEP ON SMILING and how gorgeous and brilliant you are and will essentially remind you that your table, the one with YOU AND HIM– that’s where the party starts and ends. PERIOD. Right?!
#2 When you are sitting at said party your gusband will take as MANY SELFIES and glamour shots with you and remind you to fix the lipstick on your teeth and make sure your hair is not a ratched mess.
#3 Your gusband will ultimately help you steel yourself against any icy reception by giving you a pep talk, he will refuse to let you take any of this social silliness seriously and will remind you of the bigger picture– JUST HOW FABULOUS you and he are- and that there will be MUCH better parties in your shared future which will include champagne.
FYI- my husband is TOTALLY onboard with my need for a gusband so I’m currently interviewing for the position.