You would think after being married 19 years (this December 19th was 19 years of mostly wedded bliss if you overlook that time WE broke a radio and lamp fighting– it was JUST ONCE pre-kids) it would be pretty hard for my husband to surprise me. And yet I had to share these 3 Things I Learned About my Marriage This Week: Together We’re Everything
After 19 years you would think I’d know everything there is to know about this man- and if you watched any sitcoms we’d be at that juncture in our marriage where the laugh track would roll as I’d give my husband that “oh no you didn’t look” when I catch him taking his dirty jeans out of the laundry hamper and then we’d both watch him put them right back in and he’d say, “And I was just INCHES FROM A CLEAN GETAWAY”.
But that’s the cool thing about marriage– no matter how long you’ve been with a person- they can STILL surprise you. A situation can arise and they can react to it in a way that makes you look at them and think- “Now I know why it didn’t work with anyone Until I met him”. In three separate situations this week my husband taught me something about him and about myself and reminded me that our marriage is my soft place to fall.
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3 Things I Learned About my Marriage This Week: Together We’re Everything
#1 Always SIDE with my husband. My daughter wanted to have three sleepovers this weekend-my husband and I agreed to one. When Saturday night rolled around and my daughter wanted another one- my husband said no. Me being the FUN MOM I am always bending over backwards to please my kids – and it is usually to my detriment- but this time I sided with my husband and it was the best decision I ever made-why? Because my husband who is not one to mince his words came over to me and said, “Thank you for having my back. I love when we work together as a team.” And even after all these years of marriage- it feels so good to hear someone tell me that I am part of their team. Even if that team consists of just the two of us.
#2 When I’m in the clutch, my husband CAN stay up and keep me company till 10pm on a weekday night. Some times I have to host twitter parties. I usually do this on my own. However after a long weekend I was exhausted but needed to host this chat and my husband who usually tucks himself in at 9pm, sat up with me until 10 pm and kept me company and provided some great fodder for my tweets!
#3 The minute I stop NAGGING is the minute my husband starts doing stuff. You would think I would learn after 19 years of marriage to SHUT MY PIE HOLE. But I’m a creature of habit. If something is bothering me- I NEED TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST. Of course my husband does not respond to my nagging very well. But this weekend- perhaps because I was so busy I had NO TIME to nag- and LO and Behold it was as of the heavens opened up and the angels began to sing- my husband did SO MANY THINGS ON HIS OWN.
You’re right – we’re always learning new things about marriage. My husband and I have been married 35 years and we still date and try to keep things fresh and fun.
You always learn new things when you’re married. There are things that I assumed my husband loved that he really doesn’t and vice versa. I definitely try not to nag because I don’t think it does much good besides annoy LOL.
Love your insights and what you have learned. I try not to nag my husband. We overcome that by making honey-do lists. If he has a list I am not allowed to nag. I try my hardest, lol. You are getting close to 20 years, congratulations!!
BB’s on her 3rd marriage, so she’ll take your suggestions. Life as a couple isn’t easy, but when it’s the right person it is definitely is worth it. Glad you found the right one. BB2U
I never married but have heard a lot from my married friends about how is it always a work in progress.
People are complicated and there is always something new and exciting to learn about others. Great information.
I love these! I agree with most! I always stick to my husband’s side. However, sometimes nagging is the only way I can get him to do stuff. I wish I didn’t have to, but if I’m asking the same thing three times and nothing gets done, I have to keep asking. Which I guess is nagging, but if he did it the first time, I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.
It’s great that you’ve shared such personal insight especially for married couples who think they’re the only ones going through the things you’ve mentioned.
I’ve discovered these things too. After 23 years of marriage, my husband is pretty easy to predict. Things that bothered me in the beginning go away when I don’t make an issue of them.
We’re coming up on 15 and I am not the one to nag but I learned that if I want my husband to do something, I start doing it and he joins in ha ha.
I can definitely relate to these things. Marriage is hard work but it’s worth it as well. You get to have someone you can share your life with. They are there to support you all the way through! It’s just amazing to have someone in your life like that.
I can totally relate to all of this (especially the nagging part). I’ve learned that if he thinks it’s his idea, he’s more likely to do it.
Hahaa I’ve been married to my husband now for almost 8 years (9 years and 10 months together total) and #3 totally resonates with me. Whenever i stopped nagging him about stuff is when he get so many things done. Of course, from time to time, it still feels good to nag 😀
Sometimes there are still things that you’ll be surprised about with your hubby. That also happens to me too.
Great article! Yes, sometimes it’s when we stop nagging them that they start to actually do what we want them to do. This was such a sweet post.
Such a fun post! I learned the nagging secret myself about the same year as you! Also, making a project list is helpful. Bob checks the list and does what he can.
My wife surprises me daily after 12 years! I love that after 19 years you are still finding things out too! That’s fantastic
I just recently got married compared to you. We no children yet but I guess I will take note of your Tip number 1. I look forward to have our marriage stronger just like yours.
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