After you have a baby both men and women have a hard time stepping outside their roles as mother and father, hausfrau and handyman, disciplinarian and bedtime enforcer.
As a couple it is essential that you are free to indulge your every whim, without having to defer to our kids needs; and that you make it a priority to reconnect to those primal forces of attraction and shared beliefs that drew you together and resulted in this baby you now hold so dear. And despite what you may think, reconnecting with your spouse after having a baby is not just about doing so in a physical way. Rather it is really important that as a couple you make it a priority to get in some quiet intimate moments, whether it is snuggling up on a couch watching the passionate sparring between Bogey and Bacall or laying side by side getting a sensuous couples massage sipping on champagne and feeding each other chocolate truffles.
Having time away from the monotony and sometimes drudgery of parenthood can be like an infusion of new breath and perspective into this little family unit you’ve created and can give you a new appreciation for one another and, of course, your kids. But before you think this renewal can only be achieved via a carefully planned weekend away, here are a few easier-to-organize options to help you get some of that vavavoom back into your marriage.
#1 Flirt with each other. That’s right. Remember when you first met and you would kiss each other in the middle of the day for no apparent reason. You’d wink, tease and be playful? My advice: BRING THAT COUPLE BACK! Don’t be afraid to touch each other, to flirt, to smile, to hug and basically to just reach out and hold one another’s hand. Sometimes a small demonstration of love can spark that romance that’s been lying dormant in the heart of a sleep-deprived parent who just needs to feel like he/she is still desired.
#2 Write each other love letters. Sometimes it simply feels too awkward to tell your spouse just how much you love and yes even miss them. Being the parent of a newborn your focus and so much of who you are shifts to this precious little baby and your relationship with your spouse gets pushed aside. A love letter is a wonderful way for you to sit down and remind yourself, and your main squeeze, how crucial their love and support is to you, how grateful you are to have them in your life and part of this family the two of you have created. And of course there is nothing more romantic than reading a handwritten love note!
#3 Turn your bedroom into a LOVE NEST! If you can’t manage to steal away for a romantic weekend with your spouse, get your tot to sleep for a few hours and retreat to your bedroom for some quality one-on-one time. Not sure how to take your frumpy not-quite-romantic bedroom from drab to fab? No problem! Check out these five tried and true tips to Spice up your married sex life and to turn your bedroom into a love nest.
Now get your LOVE ON!