Here is a FACT. If you are married and you have kids chances are you aren’t getting as busy in the bedroom as you were pre-kids. And really who could blame you? Kids are a lot of work- frankly being a parent can suck every last bit of energy out of you- and when you do get a moment of downtime- having sex is PROBABLY not the first thing that pops into your mind.
But one thing you should keep in mind is that the way we VIEW sex changes as we motor through life… For example in our 20’s it is all ABOUT sex, in our 30’s it is all about sex with a purpose aka procreation, in our 40’s we often see our bed and most of us don’t see it as a place for sex rather as the only place to CRASH and fall asleep- and finally in our 50’s we see sex as a time to reconnect now that the kids are gone.
Unfortunately letting too much time pass as you put sex on the back burner can result in a marriage that is SEX STARVED. So what can you do if you find yourself in such a predicament? *RAISES HAND* Keep reading!
#1 Remember that sex is NOT JUST intercourse. Unless you are married to the character Ray Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond- who could not kiss his wife without having it turn into a full on let’s get into the missionary position self act-Don’t stop being INTIMATE with one another. Remind yourself that you can kiss, touch, hug and nuzzle and in doing those things you can keep that sexual energy palpable and present. Don’t be TOO busy that intimacy is something you don’t have time to take care of.
#2 There is no magic number for the TYPICAL healthy amount of sex-so don’t get STUCK ON THE NUMBERS. Just have enough that it doesn’t get stale- not too much that it gets predictable. On average only six percent of couples say they have sex every day while 52 percent said they are getting it on one to two times on a good week.
#3 Remember that age plays a factor in your sex life. Our body’s biological purpose in our twenties and thirties is reproduction and after that our libido slows down. So while taking a bubble bath and having a date night are great preludes to getting your sex on– if your body is not responsive aka- if when you are having sex you feel like there is sandpaper in your vagina– you might need to seek medical help- to ensure sex feels good , which in turn will make you WANT IT MORE.
#4 It is OKAY to institute scheduled orgasm sessions otherwise known as (SOS). So if you need to –GET A lock on your door.