Why are our spouses such an easy target when we’re under stress? It usually just makes our situations even worse.
Even if you’re just reacting to stress and don’t really mean them, insults and derogatory remarks hurled at your spouse will undermine your relationship â€” often to a devastating conclusion, if left unchecked.
Don’t let your marriage become a victim of your inability to manage your stress! According to Margaret McCraw, PhD, MBA, LCSW-C, author of The Relationship Code: Engage and Empower People with Purpose and Passion and Tune Into Love, Attract Romance Through the Power of Vibrational Matching, stress does not control us; rather, we control it. Dr. McCraw believes stress occurs because we do not know how to handle whatever challenging situations we’re facing.
“Our stress levels often increase because we’re too close to a situation and we cannot see our options; therefore, believing that we do not have viable solutions to the situation at hand, ” says Dr. McCraw. “However, if we do not deal with our stress both in and outside of our the marriage then we’re setting ourselves up to become more detached from our partner, which can lead to more stress. ”
Married couples need to learn how to handle their stress
In many cases, our spouse absorbs our stress, notes Dr. McCraw. When both individuals are stressed, the marriage suffers: conflict rises and tempers flare. All too often the result is estrangement, which left unattended may result in separation/divorce. The bottom line: If you don’t handle stress in your life, then your marriage will suffer. Keep reading for 7 marriage tips for controlling stress and not taking it out on our partners.
Marriage tip #1: Create an exercise routine that doesn’t totally rely on going to the gym.
Create a routine outside of a gym since sometimes it isn’t open or it is not convenient to get there, yet you need to release pent up negative energy. Take a walk when you are feeling stressed. Consider having your spouse go with you; however, make it a rule not to talk with your spouse during the walk. Just be together without conversation.
Marriage tip #2: Stay connected to others whom you can trust, such as friends, mentors or a professional counselor.
You need to be with people who are capable of helping you to see your options and who can help you stay hopeful so that you remain resilient.
Marriage tip #3: Make every attempt to stay lighthearted.
This way you can be resilient during stressful periods; consciously try to laugh moreâ€¦ rent funny movies, etc.
Marriage tip #4: Try acupuncture.
This can be very helpful in keeping you balanced so that you can deal with the challenges you are facing
Marriage tip #5: Practice meditation on a daily basis.
Even 15 minutes a day is very helpful to keep you centered and to give you the inner resources to deal with undesirable situations.
Marriage tip #6: Eat healthy foods and make sure you drink plenty of water.
Certain foods/drinks can negatively impact our mood. Too much sugar, caffeine or alcohol can take us on a high and then without them our energy and mood can go down. It is all too easy to become addicted to sugar, caffeine or alcoholic beverages.
Marriage tip #7: Make time to have FUN together.
Make sure that you have an adequate amount of alone time with your partner to do fun activities and to talk without other distractions. If this couple-time turns into arguments then it is definitely time to make a commitment to see a professional marriage counselor.