When my husband and I got married 20 years ago– EEK I cannot believe I am that old married lady married 20 years- but I digress…here I was a 25-year-old writer who was truly on the cusp of a career, and well I felt like my byline was something that was all mine. My name was uniquely me–and it honestly had nothing to do with this man I was about to marry. And after 20 years of marriage my husband wants me to take his last name
He was not the one who endured internships at Sassy and BillBoard magazine spending countless hours opening up snail mail-fingers all paper cutted up and bleeding- by editors who treated me like the query letters they so cavalierly tossed in the trash. He was not the one who spent two years of his career toiling at some Business publication writing about commercial property news( to the point of nausea) just to amass clips and he was not the one who had to endure a certain nasty anchorwoman’s wrath at a six month intolerable news station assignment.
In short- after all the work and time I’d dedicated under the moniker Melissa Chapman, I honestly just didn’t want to give up that person. It’s true I loved my husband deeply, madly and passionately but I also loved me. I loved the woman I was evolving into, I loved the woman and career I had spent years cultivating, and just didn’t feel right about having to essentially erase that person and start fresh. 20 years ago, my husband while not completely happy with my decision, said he accepted it. Now–all these years later he says he thinks it would be nice if we all had the same last name and less confusing for everyone. And while he’s right– it is a ROYAL pain the rump having to explain that yes these are my kids, even though we don’t share the same last name whenever we are in situations that require ID..I still don’t feel ready- and don’t think I ever will- to relinquish my maiden name.
So…what’s your feeling on taking your husband’s last name? (Personally I thought I felt like one of the kids should have taken MY last name….the hubs did not agree!) After 20 years of marriage my husband wants me to take his last name — Should I?!