This has been a very strange period in my marriage and while my husband and I are trying to get through it what I know for sure (thank you Oprah) is that above all else we are committed to raising our kids as a team. Once you have kids with someone- I think the whole marriage game and your investment in it completely changes. And when I get a letter from my nine-year-old daughter, in which she writes, “Mommy when you and daddy fight it makes me think you don’t love me and Jackson (her brother),” well it kind of puts things into perspectiveâ€¦ real fast.
I realize that marriage is nothing like the Hollywood style version I’d envisioned; it’s far more than roses, holding hands and having a permanent Saturday might date. It’s about compromising, sometimes swallowing your feelings and fighting fair all so much easier to type than to actually put into practice.
And just when I feel like maybe having to work so hard at something just isn’t what I signed up for I see my kids and this little family unit that my husband and I worked so hard to bring to fruition. I watch my husband, as her does homework with my daughter and lets my son climb all over him, karate chop him and sit on his head and doesn’t so much as wince. He is such a hands-on dad, fully entrenched in all aspects of our kid’s lives giving them every bit of his heart on an intensely visceral level.
So this anniversary, in addition to the hearts, flowers, candies and the baubles I hope I get (c’mon I’m a girl and I’ve been spoon-fed these must-gets for almost 37 years) what I’m most interested in is luxuriating in the familial love my husband and I have managed to negotiate, in spite of our recent bout of problems.
And the very best partâ€”he promised this year that he wouldn’t have my kids; ( aka him) buy me yet another #1 mom mug to add to my very extensive collection.