So my husband just made his list and he checked it twice. Then he was off-no not off to go and chop wood, clean the gutters or grow some more hair on his chest- rather he was off to pick up a package of tofu and start planning his dinner menu.
which leads me to my question: Are you married and proof that all wives do not cook and all husbands do not clean gutters?
Are you married and proof that all wives do not cook and all husbands do not clean gutters?
When I ask him if he minds being the cook in this relationship he says,”No I Like cooking, I like that I can influence the health of my family. And I like that I can be creative.”
I ask him- ” Do you look down on me that I can’t really dice and sautee?”
He says,”No everyone has their thing. Their loves and interests- so you don’t like cooking- and yet I’ve never seen anyone work a room with a vacuum like you.”
Me, “I feel like I’m a bad mother– like I should be the one the kids see in the kitchen?”
He says, “You’re a great mother and I actually would prefer that you don’t cook.”
Me: “Really, you don’t think it make me any less of a maternal figure that I am not physically involved in creating the sustenance of life for my family?”
He says,” Unfortunately your creations are not quite the sustenance of life and like I said, it doesn’t bother me that you don’t cook, if anything it provides me with more freedom and the ability to express myself.”
Of course, I am convinced the fact that the handful of times I tried to cook and BURNT the pasta because I took a shower and forgot to turn it off; made faux meatloaf with just a tad too many breadcrumbs (I threw em in based on judgement who needs a measuring cup when you just have a feeling you’re adding the right amount in) is a big reason why my husband was more than willing, ready and able to take the cooking reins in our home.
I also know that this holiday season I need to just get over it and when I feel like I’m not being enough of a mother– whip out my computer and come up with some really great examples of couples (like my husband and I ) who demonstrate the fact that marital roles are fluid- there is no right or wrong.
I also love Julia Child’s quote which so eloquently sums up my definition of the ingredients to a happy marriage:
“We had a happy marriage because we were together all the time. We were friends as well as husband and wife. We just had a good time.” Julia Child
So are you married and proof that all wives do not cook and all husbands do not clean gutters?
Alli Smith says
April 4, 2019 at 4:05 pmI do love to cook and my husband and I cook together all the time. He’s not really one to clean the gutters. I think it’s great when you like to do what you like to do and if that doesn’t include cooking, it’s good that you have a partner who loves to cook.
Terri Beavers says
April 4, 2019 at 4:54 pmI’m not married but I was. And when I was, my husband did more of the cooking than I did (which was a bummer since I love to cook better than I love ice cream). On the flip side, his gutters are probably still not clean 30 + years later but I do clean mine, lol.
Kimberly Rambles says
April 4, 2019 at 6:17 pmI am a work at home Mom and my husband is a soldier and yet…. he does the cooking! (when not deployed of course!) He enjoys the kitchen more than I do! I go a bit crazy when I cook something nice and then littles don’t want to eat it. Him cooking though helps keep the house more peaceful. It works for us!
Pam says
April 4, 2019 at 6:54 pmMy husband doesn’t enjoy cooking, but I love mowing the lawn. My husband does grill for us a lot… because I don’t always love cooking either lol!
Amber Myers says
April 4, 2019 at 6:58 pmUgh, I hate cooking. But I work from home, so I usually have to do it. I’ve cleaned gutters too. My husband is military so he gets deployed so that is all on me.
Candy says
April 4, 2019 at 6:59 pmWe are pretty even around here at our house. We both cook clean and do yard work. I help with the gutter cleaning
Paula Schuck says
April 4, 2019 at 7:29 pmI actually love it when my spouse cooks. It’s my favourite. I’d prefer if he did all the cooking. But typically I cook and he cleans up. In the summer he does more cooking and grilling so that makes me happy.
Tasheena says
April 4, 2019 at 8:42 pmI actually do love to cook. But the Mister usually hires someone to take care of the gutters.
Sarah Bailey says
April 4, 2019 at 8:53 pmI think things in the household have changed a lot and we are moving a long long way from the traditions. My other half for instance is such a better cook than me lol.
Heather says
April 5, 2019 at 1:02 amMy husband cooks and cleans more than I do too. I love it! I love cooking, just don’t have the time to do it like I used to.
Terri Steffes says
April 5, 2019 at 3:02 amYes, I’d say were are proof of that. However, it goes back and forth. Sometimes I am the cook and he cleans the gutters. What is nice is that if I need him to cook he can!
Gervin Khan says
April 5, 2019 at 3:57 amI do love cooking a lot and cleaning our house everyday. My husband is a busy man but he make sure that he is going to spend time with us after his work. I am glad that this year she ask me to teach him on how to cook he said, he also want to cook for his family.
Catalina says
April 5, 2019 at 10:22 amI don’t think that only women should cook. I consider that a man cooks better because he does this for passion!
Diana Natal says
April 5, 2019 at 1:40 pmIn the sense of cooking and home improvements I guess we are stereotypical in that I love to be in the kitchen and my husband loves to fix the house – but my husband also sews and irons (which I do not and no one will ever allow me to if they love their clothing) and I tend to all of our farming chores myself because my husband is not so good at convincing things to grow. I think the most important part is that we compliment each other well and appreciate each others strengths!
Chubskulit Rose says
April 5, 2019 at 2:21 pmIn our 16 years of marriage, tow years of those were spent miles apart but after those initial couple of years, we ARE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME SO it’s been a happy life for us too.
Ruth I says
April 5, 2019 at 4:33 pmI am not married yet but I do not know how to cook as well. haha! My mom and dad loves to cook so it is never an issue between them.
rika says
April 5, 2019 at 6:07 pmThis a very funny post! I love cooking, my husband is too busy with his work. I also have to clean because he doesn’t have time for it.
Ricci says
April 6, 2019 at 4:25 amI’m not married so I do it all…LOL!! I don’t mind and at least I know I can do it all!