So my husband just made his list, he checked it twice and then he was off-no not off to go and chop wood, clean the gutters or grow some more hair on his chest- rather he was off to pick up a chicken, and start planning his dinner menu.
When I ask him if he minds being the cooker in this relationship he says,”No I Like coking, I can influence the health of my family, I can be creative and I can cook what I like.”
I ask him- ” Do you look down on me that I will not be aproning up and getting up to my elbows in chicken thermometers and stuffing?”
He says,”No everyone has their thing. Their loves and interests- so you don’t like cooking- and yet I’ve never seen anyone work a room with a vacuum like you.”
Me, “I feel like I’m a bad mother– like I should be the one the kids see in the kitchen?”
He says, “You’re a great mother and I actually would prefer that you don’t cook.”
Me: “Really, you don’t think it make me any less of a maternal figure that I am not physically involved in creating the sustenance of life for my family?”
He says,” Unfortunately your creations are not quite the sustenance of life and like I said, it doesn’t bother me that you don’t cook, if anything it provides me with more freedom and the ability to express myself.”
Of course, I am convinced the fact that the handful of times I tried to cook and BURNT the pasta because I took a shower and forgot to turn it off, made meatloaf with just a tad too many breadcrumbs( I threw em in based on judgement who needs a measuring cup when you just have a feeling you’re adding the right amount in)is a big reason why my husband was more than willing, ready and able to take the cooking reins in our home. I also know that this holiday season I need to just get over it and when I feel like I’m not being enough of a mother– whip out my computer and come up with some really great examples of couples (like my husband and I ) who demonstrate the fact that marital roles are fluid- there is no right or wrong– I also love Julia Child’s quote which so eloquently sums up my definition of the ingredients to a happy marriage:
“We had a happy marriage because we were together all the time. We were friends as well as husband and wife. We just had a good time.” Julia Child
So are any of you married and proof that all wives do not cook and all husbands do not clean gutters?