Yes I know the title might make me sound slightly vile. I mean, really what self-respecting women in her thirties would actually ADMIT to marrying a sugar daddy? Unless of course I was just jockeying for a slot on an upcoming Dr. Phil segment where he pits sugar daddy marrying hos versus those who married for love, plain and simple love.
But anyone who has married knows there are so many factors that go into the decision you make when you meet “the one”. And sure when I met “my one” he happened to be fifteen years older than me and a well-established physician. But to say that I was looking for a bank account rather than a husband- while that may appear to be the method behind my madness, it is oh so much more complicated than that. And how I ended up here almost 11 years later– still married- although my husband– has left his doctoring for parts unknown- well that’s the crux behind my blog ramblings.
I entered this marriage, despite the uneasiness of my parents (although they had “groomed” me to be a doctor’s wife- clearly a pedigree a girl like me could never attain on her own) and friends who thought I was insane to marry someone who would never get my generational references,( When he was 20 I was five– I know CREEPY) and heard me lament his old-man ways. Well it has been a journey, for better and for worse and here is where I vent about it.
In fact The Tyra show recently asked me to be a guest where I’d sit with my husband like two deer- caught in the headlights- and let the audience rip us both a new one, as I admitted that I married for money and not love. And while that is partly true I think staying in a marriage takes far more guts than the actual act of doing it and hanging in there when you really feel like you want to cut out.
Woman, I married for love and it is hard as hell 13.5 years after meeting Husband. We still love each other, but we have grown into two adults with mostly incompatible personalities.The older I get, the more I embrace that this institution is a crapshoot, which shoots out a hell of a lot of crap in the process.I'm still in love. I am committed. I also deal daily with doubts and fears.Ann
Crazy how during your courtship, especially if it's love and lust that binds you- how incredibly difficult the actual year in year out of marriage can be. Glad to hear that you're still "in love" and 13.5 years is a lifetime in dog years.
I fully intend to instruct my daughters to marry for money, as well as love. Loving a loser who drains you financially and who cannot pay the bills, is a recipe for misery and bitterness. I happen to think that an ability to attain and manage/maintain one's finances are admirable qualities – qualities that reflect a level of consideration that is essential in a longterm relationship. Sure there are rich assholes out there, but there are also as many "nice" poor guys that have ruined lives. Just saying.
Just when I think I love you about as much as I'm gonna, you go and start a blog with a title like this. LOL. Hilarious! This blog is going to be a fun ride and I'm so glad that I'm front and center for it. Can't wait for your next post!!!
Momfluential- I wholeheartedly agree- I love how you phrase it, just make sure there's a healthy dose of love there too. It's hard not to be blinded by the glittering green stuff and to kind of fall in love with it.
I never knew your marriage background but having met you and chatted with you – I would never think you were anything but the outgoing, confident woman you are.
Love the blog name – so glad you have decided to start one about your life
http://www.nycsinglemom.com
I am so excited that I found your blog. I am getting married in about a month and a half to a man who is almost 14 years my senior and a physician as well. I look forward to reading more of your blog, learning about married life to a “sugar daddy”, and gleaning any tips to help us in our years of marriage to come. We look forward to hitting our 12 year mark too!
I am SO HAPPY you found me!!! Consider me your go-to-source!!
I’m with ya sista! No one can tell you anything when love takes over, and age means nothing. Mine was 23 years older and it was the relationship of a lifetime. Unfortunately he passed on quite a few years ago but left me unalterably changed for good. (I hope!)
Your not very pretty, so I don’t understand how you got a sugar daddy. I am not a mean person I am an honest person. I am financially well off on my own so I have pride on the fact that I don’t need a man to support me.
All women are money grubbing whores. They lie as easily as they breathe. They are in love with themselves,then their dog, then their kids, and finally the man they marry as a meal-ticket. If a man ever realizes she is a whore, she instantly despises him,picks a fight so she can leave with as much of his money as she can get and looks for a new sucker. Women have no honor and act like they are giving a man a kidney to fuck him once she has a marriage license in her hands. They have to tell everyone HE is a bastard so they can pretend that they are morally superior to men. A woman can fuck your brains out one day and the next day spit hate li7ke a demon. Todays women are spoiled brats who are in love with themselves. They think their stinky globby pussies are gold mines. Men have to live with the fucked-up mental patients or go the cheaper route and just pay an escort whore with a lot less trouble.
Crikey…you are a disturbed man….certainly ugly and sexually unattractive to women, but perhaps Daddy loves you..? rather more than he should?
LOL, I think it’s pretty clear who the mental patient is here, and it’s not the 50-odd% of the human race that’s female 😀
Do you know how hard it is to be able to marry your sugar daddy? I am proud of you, you are a good woman that’s why he didn’t let you go!
As a child/pre-teen, my parents went through a bitter divorce so I had a very skewed vision of family life and marriage. My mother’s main advice was not do to as she did. Her mother unfortunately suffered from Alzheimer’s so never passed on any advice to me, but my father’s mother certainly did. Never a woman to hold her tongue (….that must be where I got it from…), she steadfastly told me that I could fall in love with a rich man just as easily as I could fall in love with a poor man: “So damn it, Chris, fall in love with and marry a rich man.” Um…okay, Nana.
In the 15 years since she died, I fell in love with and married that rich man…..16 years my senior….with 3 adult children and no desire to have any more….and an insatiable desire for the good life and someone to share it with. Don’t get me wrong > I earn good money on my own, and I insist on paying for certain expenses, but it is nice being taken care of. 🙂
After 6 years my SD asked me to marry him last month. I am 44 and he is almost 60. At first the relationship WAS based on the financial aspect. After 8 years in a marriage where my husband didn’t want to work (or anything else for that matter), it was refreshing to find a man with a good career. I am taken care of, I have everything I need and then some. My children from my marriage have an opportunity to go to college and make something out of their lives. They would not have had that opportunity without my SD. We will be married next year without a pre-nup. I am not ashamed to say that the money was the initial draw but over the years it’s become so so much more than that and I can honestly say that I love him and can’t wait to be his wife!
Your people are just kidding yourselves. I mean, seriously? How can you say “I am not ashamed to say that the money was the initial draw but over the years it’s become so so much more…” when you just said “We will be married next year without a pre-nup”, meaning it’s STILL about money.
And tot he person who said: “Loving a loser who drains you financially and who cannot pay the bills, is a recipe for misery and bitterness” but it’s okay for the woman to sit on her butt all day and do nothing, but drain the man’s finances? Please, you like being “taken care off” because you’re all too lazy to do it yourselves not because your “confident” women, but simply because you want something you can not attain yourselves.
I don’t mind, but at least be honest and don’t make it sound like something it’s not. It’s not a marriage, but an arrangement. I’m glad you all found an outlet where you can validate each other’s choices for marrying men that are better off than you are.
As someone who is married to her sugar daddy as well (he’s 20+ years my senior), it wasn’t money that attracted me to him (though he had it), it was the fact that I was still treated like a normal person. He didn’t shower me with gifts because he noticed the fierce independent streak I have (and still have) but rather he was there to catch me if I fell. He let me make my own mistakes and helped me learn from them. But best of all he is someone i can turn to. You husband sounds like he is your rock as well and I am so happy to hear that. Continued success and love in your relationship.
Trashy women unfortunately are everywhere nowadays which is why many of us good men are still single right now.