Scenes from a Marriage: Can a husband and wife survive planning a bar mitzvah without DRIVING EACH OTHER CRAZY? Cue the odd couple music
We knew this day would come. But my husband and I are both major procrastinators. My husband more so than me- he’s the type of guy, who waits till he casually bumps into a neighbor to ask a question- as opposed to just ringing their doorbell- and just flat-out ASKING his question- because in these FRIGID NYC temps, all of my neighbors are just taking long leisurely walks outdoors every chance they get… but I digress.
My husband and I are smack dab in the trenches of planning our son’s bar mitzvah- which some might say is just a big ole glorified party but for us it is also that crucial point in his life one in which he will take stock of who he is and where he is headed (in a speech he keeps asking ME to write for him– NOT HAPPENING). And as we get into the GRITTY part of planning his kosher bar mitzvah at a hall I have VISIONS of my older sister in her Gunne Sax dress celebrating her bat mitzvah in our row house basement drinking out of a garden variety no-frills white plastic cup and I just remember how happy she was and how happy we all were with so.much.less. But lest you think I am hiring Cirque De Soleil to fly in a trapeze and breathe fire for my guests- I’ll have you know I am doing EVERYTHING I possibly can to keep costs to a minimum and to remember this is a party for kids- this is not my Quincenera!
But here we are in 2018- and the bar mitzvah scene is a whole different beast and so if you’d humor me I’d like to regale you with just a few of the interactions behind the closed doors of my marriage as I plan and try to keep it all within a reasonable budget. Scenes from a Marriage: Can a husband and wife survive planning a bar mitzvah without DRIVING EACH OTHER CRAZY? Cue the odd couple music
ON THE GUEST LIST:
The husband: Who is the X family?
1Me: She is my friend.
The Husband: So why have I never heard you mention her name?
Me: Well lucky for you – you will have the pleasure of making her acquaintance at the bar mitvah.
On the Menu:
The husband: Do we really need to give the kids appetizers?
Me: Would you prefer they ate their napkins while waiting for their entree?
On the clothing:
The husband: I don’t need to buy a new suit. I’ll just wear one I already have.
Me: That’s fine- but don’t expect to be in any family pictures with your broken down threads.
I could go on and on- and invite you to listen to every.single.one. of these interminable exchanges- but I’ll spare you. My one word of advice for my husband- gve me your wallet and CLOSE YOUR EYES… and the real question Can a husband and wife survive planning a bar mitzvah without DRIVING EACH OTHER CRAZY?