While I am pleased as punch that Jennifer Aniston’s15 month courtship with Justin Theroux culminated in their engagement- and that she has found her lobster (the fish that mates for life) and that this engagement will put a END to the media’s obsessive need to cast Aniston as that jilted woe be gone ex wife of Brad Pitt- are already decrying the fact that their courtship is not nearly long enough to sustain a lasting marital union. Well, I might be the right person to offer perspective on the effectiveness of quickie engagements leading to long lasting marriages. Why? Because I am smack in the middle of such a relationship, and relatively happy I might add.
My husband and I met on July 19th 1997 and were engaged on November 19th 1997. Yes… a quickie courtship indeed and yet here we are 17 years later still very much together. And this is why I completely advocate quickie engagements. I think when you meet someone, that right person; you feel it in your gut. You have this mental checklist of all the things you wanted in a mate and this person somehow embodies the lion’s share of these characteristics. My first date with my husband began at 2pm and didn’t end till 2 am. We spent most of the time talking and it felt like he this was a person I’d always known; there was this immediate comfort level with him that I’d struggled to attain with other men after six or seven dates.
You could say our quickie courtship was all hormones, adrenaline- and infatuation. And yes, that is partly true. However, although my husband constantly tells our daughter that ours is not the ideal situation- i.e. she had better date a lot longer before she makes a decision on the one, I believe in the ability to meet someone and just know that you were meant to be with this person and make lots of babies.
One thing I do know for sure is that having that ring on my finger kept me committed and willing to work on things during those arguments every couple has– – as opposed to just breaking it off. So perhaps that engagement ring is also a motivator– and a physical reminder to keep your eye on the end goal-(another reason for taking the leap and engaging in a quickie engagement).