When we were about four months pregnant with our now 15-year-old daughter we were driving to that all important let’s find out the sex of the baby sonogram so we could fully entrench ourselves in those arduous blue versus pink decisions. Our car ride, normally punctuated by my incessant questions, was eerily filled with silence as we were both very much wrapped up in our own thoughts. The truth is I really was hoping for a girl, but of course never felt comfortable enough admitting it out loud. I was filled with trepidation and that great fear of the unknown, what kind of mini person was I carrying in my womb and could I even be a good mother to a boy or a girl for that matter?
*Fast forward 15 years and this is our not so little 15 year old ginger holding her ginger haired cousin*
And then my husband, normally never one to break the silence, spoke and said, ” I know this might not be the right thing to say but I hope we are having a boy.” I looked at him feeling such relief that I wasn’t the only superficial one- hung up on yearning for a baby of a specific gender, and I too admitted what I’d been keeping in my heart, “well I really hope it’s a girl”. And while I should have felt relieved now that we put our true feelings out into the stratosphere I felt quite the opposite; anxious and panic ridden. Questions like, why did my husband want a son, and what if I couldn’t give him one, would he still love this baby, plagued me.
Of course I knew I would love anything that grew inside me as it was a product of my love for my husband. And I knew my reasons for wanting a girl were silly — I simply wanted a little baby doll I could dress up and cover in crinoline and ribbons who would watch Snow White with me and who would relish impromptu tea parties. I grew up with two sisters and by the time my brother was born I was 12 years old and no longer at an age where I was interested in playing or getting acquainted with the male persuasion. But why did my husband feel this way? I asked.
“Honey, why would you rather have a boy?”
To which my husband replied: “Of course I’ll love any baby that is ours regardless of whether its a boy or girl- but I know I’ll just feel more comfortable around a boy- I’ll know what to do and how to parent a boy. I’m a little worried about parenting a girl.”
Fast forward to when our daughter was three years old and after major infertility intervention, we became pregnant again. During a car ride that felt very Deja- vu-ish, we once again discussed what we hoped the baby’s gender might be. My husband, who after spending three years with his little girl had at that point become such a doting daddy and could literally not get in enough time with her said, “I hope it’s a girl.” Of course it was a boy and for me the love and the parenting has been just a rich and magical with my boy as it has been with my girl– and in my opinion gender has no bearing on love and my husband, well he completely agrees with me.
So I put the question out there to you Did your husband care about the gender of your kids?
he absolutely cared!! needed a SON — he’s an only child.
Nope, not at all. But I think he’s thrilled to have some of each. 🙂
We both agreed we would be happy either way, but there was always the boy vs girl argument going on. we had fun with it and made a bet whoever chose right got to pick the name no questions asked. We would tease each other with outlandish names constantly until we found out.
My husband sort of cared. He always said he would love a boy, but he’d be happy as long as the baby was healthy. Although, when our son was born, he did kind of freak out.
My husband wanted a girl and I wanted a boy. I could tell he was kinda disappointed when we found out we were having a boy. In the end he was just happy that we had a healthy baby.
It’s funny. With our first child, my husband didn’t care about the gender. We had a girl. For the second child, he was hoping for a boy and he got one!
My sister wanted to know the gender of her child.
But my in-laws pretty much wanted to be surprised and like you two, were happy just to have a healthy baby.
My one brother-in-law reminds me of your husband, as he grew up with mostly boys, but his first baby was a girl, whom he really doted on.
We were totally open to either gender with our first baby, but after two daughters we were really hoping our third (and last) would be a boy. We got our wish and feel so blessed to be able to experience life with children of both sexes.
My husband didn’t really have much of a preference. I do think that after two girls, he did hope #3 was a boy. But after the initial shock we were having three girls, he was just as happy.
My husband didn\’t care too much about the gender. I think I might\’ve cared more than he did, because I had a gut feeling that I knew what they were.
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I think like most men, he wanted a boy, which is what we had. And I, like most women, I wanted a girl. We both of course did not want anything more than a healthy baby in the end. We ended up with a girl the second pregnancy so we got the best of both worlds!
I think a lot of men want a boy because of that manly bond they will have lol and with the luck of my husband we have 5 boys. I don’t know that he preferred that, but that’s what he got!
My husband didn’t have a preference about of gender of our kids. I think most of them wanting a little boy or sometimes it’s vise Versa.
Well, my hubby was hoping for a boy because he was the only one in the family. His sister already had 3 girls, so a boy would have been exciting to add to the mix. Alas, we had 2 girls and stopped, but eventually one of our nieces finally had a boy, so we finally got a little more male in the family 🙂
Not really! But I think he was secretly hoping for a girl. Because all of his brothers and sisters had boys and his Mom was really wanting her first female grandchild.
We now have 7 kids. He was always excited for all of them but didn’t really care either way if baby was a boy or girl. We have 4 boys, and 3 girls now and we both are quite happy with that!
We both wanted a boy at first because we are all girls in my family but we had a girl. Then thankfully, we got a boy after 4 years! I feel so blessed! 😀
That sounds really sweet. I had one of each and am very glad we did.
My husband REALLY wants a boy. We have one boy and one girl but he’s wanting another boy. I told him to dream on lol
Any child is a blessing, regardless of gender! We loved our children from the time we knew about them. My cousin used to be so frustrated because he had 3 daughters in a row. But now he is the most loving, protective father to those three darlings who call him “Daddy Bear.”
You know neither of us really cared. We just wanted a happy and healthy baby.
We were excited to find out what we were having with both of our children. We were lucky and had one of each.
We were just happy to have a bundle of joy and then we had three more after our daughter was born. It\’s never been an issue. But I understand that sometimes they want to have a boy because they understand boys better.
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I do not have any children but fur babies. I don’t think that my husband would probably care what the sex of the child would be though.