Let me just preface this post with the following disclaimer; after years of writing articles that regale readers with the notion that major life situations can be neatly wrapped and tied with a bow in five easy steps I am here to tell you those “tip lists” are about as effective as those miracle cellulite creams. And yet I also pour over those lists you know just in case which is why I had to share my Four secrets to the perfect marriage (yes you read that right)
Let's be honest– if we have nothing to believe in and strive for- then we might just never attempt to enter into a marital union or keep the one we're in a chugging along – so to that end I give you my Four secrets to the perfect marriage (yes you read that right) .
Four secrets to the perfect marriage (yes you read that right)
1) Pick your battles. After 19 years of marriage I can honestly say- there are certain arguments with my husband that I will never win. Like the fact that he sees no crumbs on the floor, when clearly the floor is littered with crumbs or sees nothing wrong with letting our 13 year old wear the same pair of jeans to school for an entire week. And short of spending the next 19 years arguing about the same things- I've finally learned that the crumbs can stay- but my son needs to change his jeans- lest the school call social services on us for child neglect. (Or my kid be labeled the Pig Pen of his grade.)
2) Pretend you don't have in-laws. Here's the thing– unless you live in the same house with your in-laws- in which case it would be kind of hard to pretend they're not there ( although I have known some men capable of pulling off such a seemingly impossible feat) on a day-to-day basis do you really need to have them be the focal point of your conversations?!
3) Walk around in a thong whenever humanly possible. Even if you're sporting a bit of a muffin top– by baring all that extra flesh your husband will have a more difficult time focusing on the reason he's angry at you.
4) Always address your husband as “Love”. Whether it's asking him to take out the garbage or inquiring as to whether or not he scheduled your kids' flu shots if you start every sentence off with Love; i.e., ” Love can you take the dog out for a walk?” he'll have a tough time doing anything other than blowing kisses at you.
Your turn got any to add?!
HMMMMM
Ill give number three a shot and um report back 🙂
Don’t use your friends and family as your sounding board about your husband. They’ll never forgive him like you do and it hurts his relationship with them.
Good list – and all true! After 13 years of marriage, I would add:
1. Say “thank you” often – even for the little things.
2. Pick your battles – just because it’s important to YOU, doesn’t mean you can make it important to HIM! Is it REALLY worth the fight? (usually not)
3. Hold hands.
4. Be silly together. Laugh. Don’t take life or marriage too seriously.
5. Find what’s right for you as a couple. Don’t try to fit into society/in-laws/family expectations. Dare to do what YOU want!
Never go to bed angry. Instead of fighting over an important issue, talk about the positives and negatives of said issue.
Very important and useful marriage advice to make sure you guys last. It’s really smart to pick your battles, you don’t have to argue with your spouse every chance you get just to prove a point.
I love all of this. Pick your battles is something I’ve for sure learned and have done over the years. The in laws thing too.. I’ve actually cut them out and its been bliss.
That’s funny about the thong. The ‘love’ tip reminds me of my grandma saying you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. 🙂
I would probably add – “Don’t try to change your spouse, instead, accept him as he is, flaws and all.” I would love that Thong thing, but I would be so embarrassed doing that!
I have learned to pick my own battles early on in the relationship. My husband is so laid back he doesn’t mind if there are messes in the house, but I can’t turn a blind eye to that. Instead of arguing, I just get the vacuum and clean. With the inlaws thing, I think I don’t have an issue with that because my husband’s family live thousands of miles away and receiving a “not so nice” email from them doesn’t bother me at all.
My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years now and I do all these 4 things you mentioned, lol. We’re still going strong so far 😉