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Four Signs You are a Slacker Mom (Like Me)

August 25, 2019 by Melissa Chapman 19 Comments

Four Signs You are a Slacker Mom (Like Me)

My parenting style has definitely evolved in the 18 years I’ve been entrenched in motherhood. I can say with certainty that 18 years ago–after what felt like an eternity of back labor with my daughter, and me screaming at my husband to force the doctors to give me a c-section-  I was a Type A mom. I sterilized everything my daughter touched.

I was so meticulous about wrapping her in this bubble of protection that I realize now in hindsight that I didn’t enjoy mothering her doing those early years. I didn’t take any joy in her sweet firsts, as I was too busy anticipating how I was going to avert the next, imminent danger about to befall her.

In fact, if I am to be perfectly honest, I was a mess of a mother. I was too anxious to allow myself to be present in the moment- and gosh do I feel such a sense of regret about this, especially since I know that is time I will never get back. Not that my daughter remembers what kind of mother she had- but these are the kinds of thoughts and regrets that I like to play over and over again in my head when I can’t sleep at 4 a.m.

I do think that the experience informed the way I mothered my second child. I think it made me more cognizant that worrying was not magically controlling the future- rather it was robbing me of the present and the tenderness of my skinny and delicious son. So yes I was COMPLETELY PRESENT when he vomited on a daily basis and am just as present during his current obsession with all things sports ( although I kind of tune out the sports stuff- but of course I make sure to listen just enough so that if he quizzes me I’ll likely get the right answer!)

I also think that my earlier uber parenting style had me feeling like I needed to be much more relaxed as a parent- lest I wanted my kids headed straight to therapy, so I guess I would categorize myself-at this point in my motherhood career as kind of a slacker. So what traits do us slacker moms possess? And how would you know if you too were one of our tribe? Keep reading: Four Signs You are a Slacker Mom (Like Me)

#1 You are not the mom with the water bottle in her purse. I don’t bring a bottle of water with me when I take my  son to his basketball practice- rather I point him to the nearest water fountain and tell him to drink up. Oh and if he wants a snack , I probably don’t have any of those either.

#2 You don’t make pancakes for breakfast. That’s right I’m the mom who shows my daughter the milk and cereal bowl and tell her,  “breakfast is served.” (Much to my amazement , my 14-year-old is now making pancakes for the family!)

#3 Taking my kids on a cruise means hopping on the Staten Island ferry.  Hey in the distance I help them spot lady liberty and I remind them they are on a sea vessel on a body of water – and there is a snack bar that sells peanuts.

#4 During vacations from school, I’m that mom who doesn’t schedule day trips for my kids, I just drop them off at the gym to play basketball. Don’t get me wrong my kids are all lessoned up- but when it comes to weekends and vacations I’m all about just letting plans and life take shape as naturally and as unscheduled as possible.

So- slacker moms- does this resonate? Do you proudly sport your slacker mom status like I do?

 

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Filed Under: Featured, Parenting Tips Tagged With: Four Signs You are a Slacker Mom (Like Me), Melissa Chapman, Motherhood Musings, parenthood, parenting, parenting your kids, the Staten Island Family

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Comments

  1. Amber Myers says

    August 26, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    I can be the same way! I call it relaxed parenting 😉 Today is the first day of school and my kids just got cereal. Meanwhile, some of their friends got pancakes and eggs and I was thinking, “HOW? I’m half asleep!”

    Reply
  2. robin rue says

    August 26, 2019 at 12:38 pm

    Haha, you are a great mom. You are just teaching them to fend for themselves – and that is an invaluable life skill.

    Reply
  3. Alli Smith says

    August 26, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    My kids are all grown up and I’m so proud of the adults they have become so I must have done something right. I’m sure I was a slacker mom at times but I called it teaching them to be independent. Haha

    Reply
  4. Monica says

    August 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Yes! This is so me. Slacker moms have self sufficient kids though, yay for kids making pancakes!!

    Reply
  5. Terri Steffes says

    August 26, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    Loved slacker mom! A new catch phrase. However, that’s not you! That head shot with the hair, dang, girl!

    Reply
  6. Rebecca Miller says

    August 26, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    I can be a slacker mom sometimes and I think that is just fine. We have to teach our children independence and responsibility. It will make them better adults.

    Reply
  7. Tasheena says

    August 26, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    I’m for relaxed parenting. I typically will only make breakfast for my family on the weekends.

    Reply
  8. Ice Cream n Sticky Fingers says

    August 26, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    I am fairly relaxed as well but my goal was to teach my kids independence and let them make mistakes while they still lived at home. I’m not one to entertain them every single day, we occasionally plan trips and outings. But I want to teach my kids that they don’t need to be constantly doing something. Let’s face it, as adults, we don’t always get to do everything that we want to do either.

    Yes, I also taught my children how to do chores. I’m slacking on making the third one help and need to change that. I don’t want him to be a lazy adult when it comes to caring for his home. I’m not lazy per se but I struggle with clutter.

    Reply
  9. Rena says

    August 26, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    I think with each new kid the shininess wears off quickly so that when the last one appears after heavy drugs we much more laid back!

    Reply
  10. Sue Reddel says

    August 26, 2019 at 8:54 pm

    I don’t have any children but I think letting them think for themselves and sometimes fend for themselves will make them much more independent and able to live a much better life. Good for you and your kids.

    Reply
  11. Pam says

    August 27, 2019 at 12:19 am

    I always carried snacks, but only my kids got incredibly hangry pretty often. Definitely no cruises for us.

    Reply
  12. Kita Bryant says

    August 27, 2019 at 2:46 am

    Yep I’m that mom. My son asked me to cook waffles on the first day of school and I was like sure…….here is oatmeal nice and hot.

    Reply
  13. Chef Dennis says

    August 27, 2019 at 5:21 am

    I believe that you love your kids so much. Don’t be hard on yourself and call yourself a slacker mom. Hope you’re having a great day!

    Reply
  14. Ruth I says

    August 27, 2019 at 6:57 am

    I think your kids are in good hands. They will learn pretty early. Eventually they will be super independent but still reliable.

    Reply
  15. Kita Roberts says

    August 27, 2019 at 7:41 am

    You are a good mom and if you love your kids very much..that would mean that you are a doing a great job!

    Reply
  16. Lynndee says

    August 27, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    I can be a slacker mom sometimes too, but it’s okay. We need time to relax and slow down so, don’t worry about it. 🙂

    Reply
  17. HilLesha says

    August 27, 2019 at 5:27 pm

    My parenting style is a bit laidback as well! I think that with each kid that we get less anxious as parents.

    Reply
  18. Farrah Less says

    August 27, 2019 at 6:42 pm

    I am expecting my first child this end of year. I am always in research on how to be a good mom especially nowadays so many things are going on. This article is an eye opener for me that I do not have to be a perfect mom to be consider as a good mom.

    Reply
  19. Nikka Shae says

    August 28, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    Your a great mom! I know during the summer times we don’t have a eating schedule since the kids are out and about with their friends or working!

    Reply

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