Okay- first let me preface this post with this disclaimer- when I say my Four Things I learned about my Marriage when my Husband Left Me – I am referring to his road trip with our son to Cooperstown when he LEFT ME for two nights and three days to fend for myself aka take out the garbage and walk the dogs and let me tell you something- IT WAS NOT PRETTY.
My husband and I have a very unique marriage situation. While he is technically a doctor- double board certified- ahem- he is sorta, kinda retired from practicing. Sure he still does consulting but more often than not if I need help with ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he is my person. I guess some might think, how could we not DRIVE EACH OTHER CRAZY being together as we are both working from our home 24/7. And while we have our stay in our own corner days- they are few and far between. My husband and I have found this comfortable rhythm that while some might consider boring and mundane- for me-well I LIVE FOR the mundane. It is in the mundane that I have found my greatest joy and sense of fulfillment.
I always think of that character Jennifer Coolidge played in the movie Best in Show- who was married to an elderly gentleman ( no our age difference does not come close to that one) when she says in total earnest, “I love talking and Not Talking to him” well that is how I would sum up our daily interaction.
So not having him with me 24/7 for three days was like having someone cut off my life support. Who was going to make the coffee??! ( I don’t even know how to work this new machine?!) Who was going to make all of us breakfast, lunch and dinner?! ( I can’t boil water for pasta). Who was going to talk me off the ledge after a phone call from my mother?! Who will give me fodder for my blog posts and tell me that they are too fluffy and melissacized ( which then means I am headed in that right direction with them). I know you are thinking – Melissa WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU- you can’t make your own coffee and food? And here is my reply- when push comes to shove OBVIOUSLY I CAN, but if someone else WANTS to do it for me- who am I to deny said person that PLEASURE?!
Still my husband and son have been hatching this plan to visit Cooperstown for several months and while they invited me along- a) I have no desire whatsoever to go and b) my almost six month old puppy could never handle hotel rooms without trashing them like a true rock star. My other rescue could totes manage it- so I’m hoping a vacation with the two of them is in the near future for us.
And while my husband assured me he would prepare food for me- all he managed to get made was pasta- so I was basically ON MY OWN with my 16 year old who is not good at making coffee either and my dogs who can only manage to pee and poop and not even do so on command.
So what are the Four Things I learned about my Marriage when my Husband Left Me alone for two nights and three days?
#1 Taking out the trash is NO BIG DEAL. My husband has been LORDING the fact that he takes out the garbage as this GREAT and wonderful and very taxing chore that he does out of his love for me because he doesn’t want to burden me. And after having to take out the garbage myself I am ready to tell him he better step up his game and find other things to do in addition to his trash chore- because he has been getting way too much mileage out of a chore that is straightforward- no chaser- easy.
#2 Getting dinner WAS A piece OF CAKE aka it’s called TAKE-OUT and it ROCKS. Sure my marriage could NOT exist without my husband’s nightly salads but if ever the day came when he could not make one- there is actually a GREAT LOCAL DINER that could deliver them to us.
#3 Taking care of two rescue pups with no reliever (aka my husband) is enough to drive a person to drink and well I am in DEBT to my husband for basically taking care of them and walking them eight times a day.
#4 My Marriage, my husband is my left arm. Sure I am a righty and rely on my right hand to navigate about 90 percent of life. But my left arm is always there – waiting in the wings-in case I need it.
Also I missed him like crazy cakes and I don’t think I am allowing him to leave me unless he has salads prepped in the fridge and our dogs are more self sufficient.