One of the hardest parts of being a parent- at least for me- is when it comes to disciplining my kids. I am literally rendered helpless and out-of-control when my kids misbehave. I always figured if i DIDN’T SHAKE MY FINGER at my kids, and treated them like rational little people that they’d always behave. Of course kids don’t always behave because they are kids. In fact kids will do the craziest things- and you’ll look at them and think- what possessed you to DO THAT?
Case in point one night my son decided he wanted to see what would happen if he wedged his finger into the tiny crevice in the shower drain –which warranted a trip to the ER that night. Trying to make sense of kids behaving badly, or kids simply acting out- is like attempting to try and understand why a baby cries. It could be a million reasons or for no reason at all. But as a parent- bad behavior can send you into a tailspin. And then there’s the whole issue of how to deal with your own frustration- when trying to deal with your child– and it can all be enough to send you reaching for the nearest pint of Ben and Jerry’s or worse screaming like a BANSHEE while your kids looks at you in horror and at that moment realizes that you are not a parent in control. And if there is anything kids need and crave most it is a PARENT WHO SETS DOWN RULES in a calm and level headed fashion.
Keep reading for four tips every parent can rely on when disciplining their kids.#1 When you are feeling angry and upset with your child DON’T count to ten. Rather what you need to do is stay very still and quiet so that in that very moment you can watch what you would have said unconsciously.
#2 Notice the emotions that arise and REFUSE to feed them with negative self talk.
#3 Allow these impulses and feelings to pass over you and wait until a really great idea makes itself known.
#4 Finally Proceed in Love and with greater consciousness of what you are about to say to your child.
Obviously in the heat of the moment- when your child has just done something completely dangerous or maddening it might take every ounce of self control you have to NOT lose your cool. But ultimately this new routine will become second nature to you and most importantly you will never have to apologize to your child for saying or doing something in anger- that you never would have done otherwise. Of course always remember that what you do and say to your child- stays with them a lot longer than the moment you feel angry.