If you’ve been in the marriage hood as long as I have, the question “How Should I React When my Husband gets me a Present I Hate?” will probably make you chuckle. Like me, you’re probably thinking, ” If my husband actually GOT ME A PRESENT I’d be thrilled.” It’s true my husband and I don’t often exchange gifts at this point- we are more apt to write each love letters and personally, for me, that has always been a better barometer for me to “test” just how much he thinks and cares about me.
Not that his actions don’t demonstrate his love in a million tiny ways- but hey we can all use a proclamation of someone’s undying devotion to us every once in a while right? And birthdays and anniversaries are prime time to get those letters out. Of course there are some wives who truly see these monumental occasions, and the presents they get (or don’t get) to mark such occasions as a reflection of their husband’s lack of love and understanding of their wants and needs. Which brings me to a letter I got– How Should I React When my Husband gets me a Present I Hate? –asking me what to do in such a situation. Keep reading!
How Should I React When my Husband gets me a Present I Hate?
Dear The Staten Island Family-
I recently had an anniversary and my husband gave me a gift that was not even close to my style or something that I would like. I know you are probably thinking that I am acting childish and that I should be happy he gave me a gift to commemorate our years of marriage together but it really upset me. I had told him months before that I had my eye on a certain piece of jewelry but it was way too expensive and if he was ever going to but me anything that’s what I wanted. When he handed me this gift, I couldn’t control the words from coming out of my mouth and I flat out said, ” This isn’t my style. Why would you get me something that I don’t want from a site where explicitly I showed you what i wanted ? It’s like you completely disregarded what I wanted.” My husband in his defense said, ” well I though it would be nice for you to switch things up and deviate from something you always wear.” I don’t know why, but that statement just made me want to slap him; not only did he not get me something I wanted but now he is criticizing my style too? Suffice it to say, this ended up being a REALLY BAD ANNIVERSARY for us and my husband is now returning my gift. So tell me, do you think I over-reacted? Should I just have taken the gift and said thank you and appreciated that he even though enough about me to buy me something?
How Should I React When my Husband gets me a Present I Hate?
Signed CONFUSED Wife.
Dear Confused Wife,
I totally get where you are coming from. His disregard for your wishes and then that little dig at telling you to change up your style is definitely grounds for an argument. BUT NOT GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE. First of all I think you need to apologize to him for your reaction to his gift and tell him that you absolutely appreciate the sentiment but just felt like he must not have been listening to you when you told him what you wanted and that’s what really hurt you most- the fact that you felt- unvalidated and not heard. It wasn’t really about the gift itself, it was more about the fact that you felt he wasn’t really paying attention to the things you told him and that made you feel like your thoughts and feelings didn’t hold weight with him. Then I think you need to have a total DO-OVER celebration of your anniversary- and instead of gifts you need to celebrate Married My Sugar Daddy Style and write each other love letters.
So readers- has this ever happened to you and if so, what would be your advice to Confused wife?
Carol Cassara says
May 13, 2019 at 11:31 amI love that advice that you gave. It is upsetting when of all people, your husband gets you a present that’s not really what you want but it’s important to appreciate his effort. We all know that they’re not that good when it comes to gift shopping.
robin rue says
May 13, 2019 at 2:58 pmYeah, I have been there! Mine got me a dumb star wars t-shirt for mother’s day one year. It didn’t even fit. He still hasn’t heard the end of it.
Danielle Smith says
May 13, 2019 at 6:04 pmI think we’ve all gotten something from our other half that’s cringe-worthy. I feel after many years of being together we can just laugh it off. Did he not listen to you? Maybe, but, it doesn’t sound like he didn’t. He said he felt this would be something different than what you usually wear, so at least he pays attention to what you’re wearing!
Allison B says
May 13, 2019 at 6:21 pmHonestly, she needs to apologize and move on. Everyone gets an unwanted gift but it’s not because the person who gives it to you doesn’t care or it’s an afterthought it just was a miss.
Bill Sweeney says
May 13, 2019 at 6:25 pmI don’t think his intentions were to offend your sense of style, but maybe he felt you’d be open to trying a different style? I’ve always felt “it’s the thought that counts”; but, with that being said, I’d never buy my wife a vacuum cleaner for her birthday or Mother’s Day!
Lisa Favre says
May 13, 2019 at 6:26 pmI have totally been there! It was actually when we first stated dating (not yet married) but all it took was honest communication from my end. I would want him to do the same for me – I always want to make sure I get him something he truly loves.
Christie says
May 13, 2019 at 7:06 pmUgh! This is an issue I hope to never have happen! I’m not sure what your husband’s intentions were; but, I definitely do not think he did it to offend your purposely.
Liz Mays says
May 13, 2019 at 7:48 pmI think I agree with the response to Confused Wife. I can see why there would be frustration but communication would lead to a mutual understanding and hopefully a resolution.