I take a LOT for granted. Like the fact that I never had to struggle with acne (until I turned 40!), I never had to go back in for a “second look” after a sonogram and that I could actually hear and not feel like I was constantly underwater. Not sure if it's the fact that my body is aging ( I know 42 is not 62, but it's also not 22) that I just had – as my husband likes to call them- a series of unfortunate events in succession, (My husband has become Lemony Snicket) but man I am starting to feel my mortality. I have to say between unclogging my waxy ear drum, listening to me freak out about my ovaries and my most recent bout with skin issues I have to say this guy has not batted an eyelash.
Of course the fact that he doesn't see too well- bodes well for me, as he says he doesn't really notice all the acne that has taken residence on my forehead- because when you are about to turn 43 that's when you are expected to breakout like a teenager. To his credit- he patiently syringed the wax out of my ear ( at which point I realized how nice it is to be able to hear) and until I got those test results he patiently listened to me think about the what ifs out loud and tried to assuage my fears. And honestly I think to myself, especially after reading this article today, am I no longer the fun and fancy free 22 year old girl he fell in love with- and if so, does that mean I am No Longer The Woman My Husband Wants?
First of all let me just preface my thoughts about this post with this disclaimer; I think the author had good intentions those being that we should not let ourselves fall into bad patterns, we should never stop flirting with and yes Dating our spouses. Of course all these are great reminders but anyone who has been in a long-term marriage can attest to this one fact- daily living is a grind. For instance when I am busy applying benzoyl peroxide to my acne- I don't feel very joyful or much like flirting. And while I know my husband loves me no matter what- I know he doesn't love my anxiety- and I'm sure would at times opt for that 22-year-old girl he met. But heck, I wouldn't mind shacking up with that 38-year-old guy I met sometimes either. The point is-real life and real marriage is about coming to terms with and loving the person who your spouse evolves into- because there is no way any of us can remain 22 forever. As you age you grow, your needs and issues change- you become more serious- and heck that is part of life and being in a relationship. Everything isn't all fun and games– although it does help to have a sense of humor- as your husband is flushing ear wax out of your ear with a syringe.
The bottom line is this… being on the cusp of turning 43 has been Challenging, Good Thing My Husband Is in IT For the Long Haul.