I recently looked at my husband after we watched the intense drama, Captain Phillips, and asked him, ” Why do we hate Tom Hanks?” That seems like a crazy question right? I mean the man has been in beloved films like Castaway and Big and even headlined the campy classic TV comedy Bosom Buddies. And yet- my husband and I both have this mutual understanding that we hate him. I’m not even sure how or why I would dare hate such an iconic and beloved American actor- but apparently I do- because I’m committed to my marriage aka I follow the one cardinal rule of marriage. If You Want to Stay Married Happily You Must Hate The Same People
What does that mean? That I blindly take on the opinion of my husband no matter how far fetched and crazy they would appear to be- NO? It’s more that over our 19 year marital union we have come to certain understanding- or rather certain ideals that bond us- and that the two of us will unwaveringly share- almost as a metaphor for our commitment to this life we share. And one of those principles are that we hate Tom Hanks ( which my husband just reminded me is because of his annoyingly smarmy acceptance speeches)- but it is NOT just hanks who we hate in unison- NO we’ve got a LONG list of people that fall under that category- and even if one of us is on the fence- in our marriage we have UNILATERALLY made the conscious and joint decision to hate that person as a team. The key word here- is that we hate as a verb- as a team would.
But it is not just our mutual hatred for people which are the ties that bind us- here are a few other examples.
– We will always keep up a united front ( for anyone- really JUST TRY TO BREAK US). I learned early in marriage that tearing my husband down in front of friends and poking fun at the fact that he wore socks to the beach- was really poking fun at myself. I mean I’m the one who married the guy who wore socks to the beach so therefore I should be ridiculed too -right?! What I learned from that situation is that if my husband insists on wearing socks to the beach I will support his decision and tell anyone who makes fun of him to SHUT THE HELL UP.
-I’m the Felix to his Oscar, The Alan to his Charlie. We are definitely an odd couple. He does not care about dirt. I am an obsessive cleaner. He can sit in silence for hours. I need to fill that silence with TV and Talking. He can cook anything. I can eat anything. I’m also plagued by neuroses and he lets EVERYTHING roll off his back. You get the gist; we are very much the ying to one another’s yang.
– I try never to forget that my husband is my better half. That good, bad or otherwise I will stand by his side and take this ride with him. I will honor the decisions he makes (even if I don’t completely agree with them) because I expect him to do the same for me. And yes that means if he hates Tom Hanks then I will hate him too.
I love this. The key to a successful marriage is to stand behind each other and support each other, no matter what.
I agree that the key to any successful marriage is support and encouragement. My husband and I are opposites on a lot of things, and I think that’s what makes us gel. I’ve seen too many couples who are so much alike (stubborn, for example) and it just creates friction between them.
I love this. I agree with you and never cut my husband down in front of others. It’s not that we don’t fight but we don’t do it in a way that will hurt our relationship.
lol to the socks. And right on, too!! I never understood why people make fun of their spouses. Not good in even the best kind of scenario.
So true! Gotta support the better half every chance you get. We have a mutual hatred for Kanye West.
I loved reading this post. My husband and I are complete opposites. I think that is what keeps us together. It is learning to accept our differences – in a fun way! We too have a shared dislike for some people and/or things. We don’t really care about anything related to the Kardashians. We don’t understand why they always have to be in the limelight! It’s just like big news if one of those women broke a fingernail. Ugh.
Should it really be like that? My partner and I may not have many things in common but still thanks for the 12 years of being together. I think a relationship just needs understanding.
LMAO at your husband wearing socks to the beach. Yes girl you married him!