I have a confession to make. I have been married 15 years and I have NEVER HIRED A BABYSITTER. I have never scheduled a date night with my husband. It's not that I don't want to spend time alone with him- it's just that we are just not schedulers. You know how typically you have a couple and one is a Type A personality- the scheduler, the one who GETS STUFF DONE? Well we're both lazy, sloth B-type personalities. By the time we get the kids settled, the dogs walked and fed, we lose our get up and go mojo. And I have to admit, I feel insecure about this sometimes and every once in a while I will have this conversation with my husband.
Me: ” Honey we should really have a date night- We are missing something, don't you think something is lacking in our relationship?”
My husband: ” We do a lot of things together, we are just not planners. I don't like to be held to have to do something. It is supposed to be fun and add to our relationship and build it. Being held to a regular date night feels forced.”
Me:” But don't you think there is something to be said for getting all dressed up and spending time out -like other adults?”
My husband: “I'm not against it and we have had some fun impromptu dates. Who knows maybe we are missing something. Maybe the experts are right- maybe we are going down the path to relationship destruction.”
Me: Honey- do you think we are on the road to relationship destruction?
My husband: I don't. I feel our relationship is as strong as ever-and you know my motto, if it aint broke don't fix it.
Me: But don't you think seeing me wearing makeup and tight clothing is a good way to keep your attraction and desire for me Alive and well- and vice versa- I know I love seeing you all dressed up and handsome.
My husband: Keep it real. I see you, I know you, you don't need to fix yourself up for me. I want wants UNDER THE MAKEUP- not makeup.
So here is my question for all of you married couples…Is DATE NIGHT a state of mind– is just making sure that we are together– in any capacity- whether it is sitting in bed and watching a movie or cooking dinner together ( er, you cooking me dinner) do we really need to get dressed up in suits and pearls and GO OUT to keep our relationship on track?