When I was single I truly believed that my life would officially begin on the cusp of saying I do, and that my single days of yellow straw grass would magically develop into lush emerald green blades of glory.
Well, as a married woman I can tell you this – the grass is always greener on the other side, until you get to that other side at which point you realize, you didn’t appreciate the grass you had when you had it. You didn’t luxuriate in it, and you realize that the new grass is not even close to the emerald color you thought it would be.
Still not convinced… let me give you some examples:
Pre-marriage grass greener: Getting married I will FINALLY have that permanent Saturday night date. We’ll go to jazz lounges, make out at movies and I’ll always have someone to kiss in the rain.
Post-marriage grass not so green: Sure I might be physically sitting in the same vicinity as said Saturday night date but I can assure you that’s the extent of our interaction. Those jazz lounges and make-out sessions are practically nil, and my husband doesn’t like to get wet- aka he hates the rain.
Pre-marriage grass greener: Being married, I would finally have someone who would listen to me and talk to me whenever I felt compelled to have a discussion, unload my anxiety, bounce ideas off another person, or just plain emit pure drivel. Marriage meant I’d have a permanently fixed person who I wouldn’t have to wait to call me, at which point we could talk– I could call him… I could be needy…because he was my husband, he had to listen to me
Post-marriage grass not so green: Sure I have someone who appears to be listening to me, but I’m convinced as I am spilling out my innards, most of what he hears is the adult voice Charlie Brown and that The Peanuts gang usually heard as; “wawawawa”.
So you see, I think in life, whatever station you are presently in, when you look across the way- sure the grass might seem to be a tad greener and sure your marital expectations will pale in comparison to your marital reality, but it’s how you choose to deal with it that will define your happiness.
Meg Kra says
I know exactly how you feel. I thought when I got married, I would forever have someone to do things with. Now I crave a night where The Smooch is out of town. Just one night. I miss sleeping by myself. And something that is really effecting me right now is that I thought I would have some one to take care of me when I was sick. Instead, we both end up being sick and I end up taking care of both of us. I love being married more than anything in the world, but sometimes wonder what it might be like to be single again. Sometimes I feel like the best solution would be being married but living side by side in a duplex. Best of both worlds!!