In a relationship, moving in with each other is always a big step. However, moving to a different state to follow and support the one you love is an even bigger step. While it is a smart move for many, relationship experts urge lovebirds to really think about the leap they’re about to take.
Homes.com recently conducted a survey of about 800 people who moved to be with their significant other. Unfortunately, happily ever after was few and far between, and [SPOILER ALERT FOR HOPELESS ROMANTICS] the results were decidedly mixed:
About 43% of them would never move for love, ever again. Another 23% of those unhappy respondents said that they broke up with their partner after the move, while 18% says they moved because they wanted to attempt to save a rocky relationship. Seventeen percent told Homes.com that they regretted moving because they ended up hating the place they relocated to.
Elisabeth LaMotte, a relationship therapist in Washington, D.C., spoke with the Huffington Post.
“Relocating to a new city is a major decision with personal, professional and emotional implications,” LaMotte said. “If your primary motivation is love, the key is to make the decision from a place of strength rather than from a place of desperation.”
There are many signs that may be good indications that you and your partner aren’t ready to make the major move. Many people may think that moving locations may help to improve your failing relationship. Ryan Howes, a clinical psychologist practicing in Pasadena, California, urges against moving if you think it’ll help if you’re currently dealing with relationship problems.
“If living apart has been difficult because your partner is selfish and you communicate poorly, don’t expect these dynamics to change just because you live in the same town,” Howes said. “Sure, you’ll have more face-to-face access to one another, but this doesn’t necessarily change your relationship… Relational flaws don’t disappear when a partner moves to town. It may actually inflate them.”
You should also be wary of moving to be with your partner if they neglect to ask you to move with them. It may sound a little strange, but moving with your significant other’s support is one key way of making the transition more successful. If you don’t have that support, don’t move. It’s as simple as that.
One major thing to keep in mind is that moving will likely take you away from your friends and family. If you are currently living near your loved ones, the move is going to make it harder to be ten minutes down the road from mom and dad and Team You. If you’re willing to deal with that, then great. If not, you really should consider taking the time to think moving over.
The average American moves about 12 times during their lifetime. With that many moves, it’s important to make sure that each one will benefit your future. Keep all of this in mind when considering moving for your partner.
If you are thinking about moving for love, move with your partner, but for yourself.
This is so important for every significant other to read. It’s important that we retain who we are even as we become part of something larger than ourselves.
You definitely have some great points here. When it comes to moving you need to make sure that you consider everybody including yourself. I have moved a lot of my life and I honestly don’t want to do it again.
Great points – I would definitely be the one to jump on it and move for him….but you made me think that I need to consider myself, too!
Very good read for any couple. But life is all about chances
This is actually a lot of great info. I think it’s great for all couples to read. I think it’s important to think about things a lot before moving anywhere.
It is so important that you do not move in together for all the wrong reasons. So many people do this and find that they are so unhappy.
I never thought about moving in with someone in that way before. Definitely a few good things to think about for anyone considering it.
This is really great info. I have actually thought about moving (prior to marriage) for someone… I did it and we broke up. BUT I found my hubby here!
This is really interesting! My husband and I both moved in together at the age of 19.
It is important to make sure you look at all the pros and cons before you move. I moved to be closer to my husband when we were dating.
I made the move to be with my significant other and we are still together. It’s definitely something you have to way the pros and cons about.
If I was dating someone I don’t know if I would move for them. Our relationship would have to be on solid ground and be serious enough.
Everyone should read this. Such great advice. I could have used it when I was younger.
I moved once I got married to my husband’s hometown. I would never move for someone I wasn’t married to. Too many ifs there!
I think it’s a terrible idea to completely uproot your life for someone unless you’re married. Marriage changes things and makes them a bit more concrete.
Moving in general takes a lot of thought. Moving specifically for someone else definitely would take a bit more.
Really great info for couples that are thinking about moving in together. I would encourage my own kids to think long and hard before moving in with someone.
There are many big life changing decisions and moving to start a life with another person could be one of them. those decisions are not to be taken lightly
It’s a huge move and it’s definitely going to change your life, hopefully for the better. There are factors to think about and that’s why you have to give it a lot of thought before you dive in!
My husband and I just re-watched Up In The Air last night and you made me think of the movie lol Great tips as always girl and SO SO SO important to make sure everyone is on the same page when moving!
This is really great advice for sure! It really is important to make sure that everyone is on the same page.
great advice thanks