Are you a fighter? NEVER say these four things When You Argue with your Spouse.
In a perfect marriage and a perfect world, my husband and I would NEVER fight. If we found ourselves in the midst of a disagreement, we’d let cooler heads prevail. We’d take a deep breath, look into one another’s blue eyes (yes we both have blue eyes).
We’d realize whatever we were fighting about, in the face of our love and commitment to one another, it didn’t warrant raking one another over the coals and butting heads for.
Yet *sometimes* I’ve been known to let my evil– I want to scratch your eyes out-because I’ve just asked you the same question three times and only on the fourth time when I screamed at you did you say, I heard you, I’m just thinking of my answer–side get the better of me and we get in a war of words. But after 20 years of marriage and several broken lamps and radios I’ve learned there are certain things one should NEVER say, when one is in the throes of an anger fueled argument with one’s spouse.
NEVER say these four things When You Argue with your Spouse
#1 NEVER say to your wife: you are acting like your mother. (It really doesn’t matter whether her mother is batshit crazy or normal–most women never want to be characterized as their mother).
#2 Never say I want a divorce….UNLESS you really mean it.
#3 Never say I wish I never married you– which, although you can’t see through your anger at this very minute- annuls all the wonderful things your marriage has yielded.
#4 Never say I’ve always… Followed by anything derogatory (i.e. hated the way you dress, eat, smile, comb your hair) talking in those kinds of terms is not you- it’s the anger- and while you’re at it- just STRIKE the word always from your vocabulary!
So are there any things you’ve said to your spouse in the heat of an argument (that you’re willing to admit) that you wish you could take back? Anything you would add to these–NEVER say these four things When You Argue with your Spouse
These are good points. Marriage is so difficult and takes so much work. Soemtimes things come out in anger that we don’t mean and we need to learn how to communicate more effectively.
Sadly, my husband and I have said these things at some point. And the feeling after you say them is so awful, you are right they never should be said!
I think many couples can relate to this. Sometimes, the best way to deal with things to is to step in a different room before regretful things are said.
Yeah all of these things are very hurtful. I agree that it’s important to not argue in absolutes. It’s doubtful that anyone always or never does anything.
Ughhh I think ever lynafried person has blurted out something they really didn’t mean! I know I’m definitely guilty of this because of my “have to win” personality. Definitely not a good thing!
I hope I never hear those four words from my husband, but if he does want one, then I will deal with it. Our arguments usually don’t get that heated, but I am sure that it could.
These are such great tips. Words have such a long lasting effect, we’ve got to be so careful what we say, even when we’re angry!
These are great tips. Sometimes we need a reminder of how horribly lasting words you don’t mean can be.
Yes words are very hurtful and can have a long lasting effect on that person. Thankfully in the almost 17 years of marriage my husband has never said any of the things you mentioned. Sure we have argued or disagreed on things and both said things we wish we didn’t but we certainly work it all out!
Yes! These things are all so hurtful. I know it’s hard not to say things sometimes, but these should never be said!
Too funny. And accurate! My husband and I learned to never say “never” or “always” as in You never___ or You always____. Lol!
I guess every married woman can relate to this! I think in every relationship there’s a moment where you have an argument and you or your spouse say something you then regret. It’s important to know also when to forgive and talk about what happened and try not to do it again.