In a perfect marriage and a perfect world, my husband and I would NEVER fight. If we found ourselves in the midst of a disagreement, we’d let cooler heads prevail- we’d take a deep breath, look into one another’s blue eyes (yes we both have blue eyes) and realize whatever we were fighting about , in the face of our love and commitment to one another didn’t warrant raking one another over the coals and butting heads for.
Yet *sometimes* I’ve been known to let my evil– I want to scratch your eyes out-because I’ve just asked you the same question three times and only on the fourth time when I screamed at you did you say, I heard you, I’m just thinking of my answer–side get the better of me and we get in a war of words. But after 18 years of marriage and several broken lamps and radios I’ve learned there are certain things one should NEVER say, when one is in the throes of an anger fueled argument with one’s spouse. Here are my top four:
#1 NEVER say to your wife: you are acting like your mother. (It really doesn’t matter whether her mother is batshit crazy or normal–most women never want to be characterized as their mother).
#2 Never say I want a divorce….UNLESS you really mean it.
#3 Never say I wish I never married you– which, although you can’t see through your anger at this very minute- annuls all the wonderful things your marriage has yielded.
#4 Never say I’ve always… Followed by anything derogatory (i.e. hated the way you dress, eat, smile, comb your hair) talking in those kinds of terms is not you- it’s the anger- and while you’re at it- just STRIKE the word always from your vocabulary!
So are there any things you’ve said to your spouse in the heat of an argument (that you’re willing to admit) that you wish you could take back?