• Work with Melissa Chapman of The Staten Island Family
  • PRIVACY POLICY

The Staten Island family

The scoop on parenting, marriage, recipes, fashion, beauty & kid gear!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Health & Lifestyle
  • Family Fun
  • Parenting Tips
  • Kid Gear
  • Recipes
  • Marriage
  • Fashion & Beauty
  • Work with Melissa Chapman of The Staten Island Family
  • PRIVACY POLICY

Online dating, men who look nothing like their picture and bad kissers

August 15, 2011 by Melissa Chapman 3 Comments

By Single mom dating

I have finally taken the online dating plunge and no I never thought I’d be that single mom trolling online profile pics in the hopes of
finding my Mr. Right Now. The truth is- you simply don’t know who you are getting behind that probably was photo shopped or taken 20 lbs. ago photo, and that bio, describing said guy- well we all stretch the truth somewhat (it’sIMPOSSIBLE that every single guy likes long walks on the beach..But I digress).

So here I am flipping through online profiles like shopping for a pair of shoes, and well- after doing this for a few months- I’ve come to this
conclusion, if I actually see someone online whose picture looks half decent, for all those who’ve done online dating (and for those of you married gals who are just LIVING vicariously through the exciting trials and tribulations of my single mom dating escapades), when you come across half decent well… you run with it.

So me and online guy talk for a while and set up a date and decide to meet at a local NYC beach. Of course, the actual guy I meet, well to
put it mildly, looks absolutely nothing like his picture, but since he’s not completely repulsive I decide to let this inconsequential fact slide and chalk it up to bad lighting (or maybe just plain desperation on my part or my need to connect with another adult who unlike my kids won’t ask me for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or to wipe his butt). So we proceed to make our way to the beach where he tells me all about his mad massage skills. Never one to turn down a free massage- although feeling a bit creeped out that this virtual stranger is all of a sudden going to be manipulating my erogenous zones, I permit him to use me as an example and practice his massage technique on me,which much to my surprise is somewhat satisfactory.

Unfortunately, that saying that there are no free lunches, I’m soon to learn, also applies to no free massages. After an hour of becoming
quite intimately acquainted with his massaging skills he leans in for that half dreaded half anticipated first kiss. Now I don’t know about the rest of you, but for me a bad kisser gets tossed right out the door.

And as luck would have it said guy proceeds to jam his tongue down my throat for a full minute. And let me paint the scenario for you…when you have a tongue choking you to death a minute is akin to a lifetime. This kiss had no lips at all, the lips were completely ignored and I believe they were pissed off. And as he’s “kissing” m, f you can even call his tongue attack a kiss, all I’m thinking is ” great now I can never see this guy again, as my number one no-no, since beginning to date again is bad kissing ( which in my opinion foreshadows one’s inability to tap into their sexual and sensual side.

Still, being one who always wants to help other better themselves, and after I managed to extract said guy’s tongue from my tonsils, I felt it was
my duty to teach this poor guy how to kiss and to use his lips so as to prevent future single mamas doing the online dating thing from becoming a casualty in a choking incident. I figure its good karma for me for and the next lucky lady who ends up with this guy. Unfortunately teaching kissing 101 was not quite what I signed up for when I paid for my online dating membership.

So spill it what are your NON negotiables when it comes to dating?

 

Share Button
Share this...
Share on yummly
Yummly
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • More
  • Email
  • Print
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket
  • Tumblr
«
»

Filed Under: MMSG, My Sugar daddy Tagged With: Bad kissers, Dating with kids, married my sugar daddy, Online dating, Single mom dating

Browse by Category

Browse by Date

Comments

  1. Mandi says

    August 16, 2011 at 4:08 am

    I met my husband through online dating. It was tough. I was about to give up until I met him. I tried to be open minded. You just know when it’s not right. I hope you find a great guy! And one that can kiss! 🙂

    Reply
  2. NYC Single Mom says

    August 16, 2011 at 11:03 am

    At least you made the plunge, I have been bugged by friends to do this for over a year. The kissing thing is pretty non negotiable. If a man cant kiss, where do you go from there

    Reply
  3. peterose says

    July 2, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    i am glad that you guys are lucky .i want to share of my unlucky finding a husband.
    i have met online he’s name is bill lineman.i was too honest and kind understanding.to him
    i did not know that he has many woman except me .

    why is that i told him since we spoke that if ever he has another girlfriend he must to me because i want an open minded guy.so i cry all night i did not do anything wrong.but i guess every time i surf nothing happen

    ::(:(:(:(:(

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Work with Melissa of The Staten Island Family

Tips to Get Your Date Night On and Bring Romance into Your Relationship

Recent Posts

  • banana cream pie cup
  • Air fryer crackers
  • Two Ingredient Apple Fritters

Categories

  • beauty
  • Delicious Recipes
  • Family Fun
  • Fashion & Beauty
  • Fashion and Beauty
  • Featured
  • Giveaways
  • health and lifestyle
  • Healthy Bites
  • Home DIY and Improvement
  • Husbands & Wives
  • Kid Gear
  • Love & Sex
  • Marriage
    • Marriage
  • Marriage and Relationships
  • MMSG
  • Motherhood Musings
  • My Sugar daddy
  • Parenting
  • Parenting Tips
  • Relationships
  • Uncategorized
  • Weight Watchers Recipes

Copyright © 2023 · Designed by Restored 316

Copyright © 2023 · The Staten Island Family on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in