My husband waited until I sort of pushed him-(just a smidge) after dating a mere four months to put a ring on it- as in my finger. He was 38, never married and had I not “suggested ” we get married I’m convinced he would’ve been quite content to sail through several more years with nary a trip to Tiffany’s to scope out the princess cut I’d been hinting I wanted since our second date.
See I knew- pretty much from our first blind date, that he was the one. We ended up spending 10 hours together- talking (he talked ALOT back then), walking, eating (he remembers I had a very healthy appetite even on our first date) and yes there was a real chemistry. Of course he was 15 years older than me- and I’m not sure he was as comfortable with the age difference as I was- but once I schooled him on my love of all things classic, like the fact that my very first crush was on Trapper John M.D. as opposed to Zach from Saved by the Bell, I think he began to feel a bit more comfortable with our union.
We had a whirlwind courtship– of course we lived together another year before we made it official- as in– no prenup so this marriage has got to work ( in my husband’s words) but I think when my husband became a father to our daughter 16 years ago- is when I truly fell in love with him. It’s as if, he spent his entire life gearing up for this role–a man who when we met felt was uncomfortable around babies and kids, seemed to wear his daddy status like a glove and bask in all its glory.
He was the one who got up at night to do all the feedings, he’s the one that slathers these kids in sunscreen till they resemble little caspers, lovingly prepares their snacks each morning, cuts the crusts off every sandwich, will bike ride and play outdoors with them to their hearts content-and will essentially do everything short of chewing food and spitting it into their mouths (as a mama bird does for her little birdlings).
Sure he could “technically be these kids grandfather”. But I believe having all these years of life experience under his belt- has made him so sure of how he wants to spend these next years; reveling in- his role as a daddy. And to be perfectly honest- the grayer he gets- the sexier he is to me!
What’s your take on the older vs. younger dad debate…do you think older dads have more patience and maturity or does it really just boil down to personality and age has nothing to do with what kind of dad a man will make?
Well, that is a tough question!
For me, I am on husband # 2 and family #2. First wusband was 24, and I was 25 when our child was born. He was a good dad, but we were both immature. Next husband was 44 and I was 41 when our child was born, and had a 2nd child 2 years later.
Although my biggest fear is (obviously) our life expectancy and the ability to keep up with the kids as we age, I have to say, patience, financial and familial stability, and focus are WAY better for both of us as we age.
To sum it up, it is mentally/financially easier but physically harder. Wrastling a naughty 2 year old gets harder when you have sciatica. Reading bedtime books require reading glasses. Dipping into their mac and cheese when you are watching your triglycerides is a no-no. On the other hand, they keep us young and spry and we find ourselves much more playful than some of our peers who are empty nesters. While we don’t exactly sit around and groom our gray hairs or count our skin tags, we are aware of our age, and more than anything we hope that we don’t embarrass our kids because of it. Does that make sense?
There is way too much emphasis put on age – in a negative way, I might add. I think having an older parent absolutely gives kids the benefit of experience.
it seems to me that it takes men a lot longer to get mature enough to raise children. Therefore, I think that older men are much better dads.
It’s a cliche but it has a lot of truth to it: age is just a number. Love can be found in all sorts of shapes, sizes, forms… anything! Way to go for embracing your relationship and showing your appreciation for your partner!
I think this is a wonderful post! You look like such a happy family and in the end that is all that matters.
I think an older Dad can have a lot of benefits. I find I have a lot more patience the older I get.This is a great post.
I honestly don’t think age matters at all. I think it all depends on the type of dad someone is. No matter the age, it all comes down to the guy himself.
Honestly, my husband and I were both “older” when we got married and started our family. I think age can have its advantages, but it depends on the person. There are some older people who still act very young (immature), and vice versa. I don’t feel I would’ve been ready for a family had we met and started a family when I was younger.
Every person has to do the right thing that makes them happy. We all have different paths in life.
I love this! I think my husband can relate. His father figure was his grandfather and to be able to do certain things that he was interested in gave him a different experience compared to kids who had younger parents.
I don’t think one is better or worse than the other by any means. 🙂
I know many older dads, and they are amazing – with a more relaxed demeanor than younger might have. But it does have allot to do with the personality of the person too.