Reflections on my definition of family as we begin a Jewish New Year is written in partnership with pjlibrary.org/highholidays
I have never been a real big proponent of forced family gatherings. You know the kind where you get together with your once or twice a year relatives- more as a compulsory act than one borne out of a mutual friendship or common interests.
I get it; there are certain traditions we feel compelled to uphold primarily because Hallmark and other companies have effectively created compelling commercial campaigns that prey on our basest of vulnerabilities and convince us to emotionally subscribe to their message and ultimately inform our holiday planning decisions.
The real-bottom line; these companies are banking their first quarter earnings on getting us “the public” to fork over wads of cash to facilitate these fabricated family gatherings.
But here's the thing- when you really think about what any big celebration or holiday is; it's a time to reflect on your blessings, express your gratitude and surround yourself with the people who are intimately tied into all those aspects of your life.
And in these life-affirming moments is your uncle, who has worn the same tweed jacket the past five years, and brought along his alcoholic common-law wife- really a person who contributes to your happiness or has anything to do with you on even a monthly basis? If the answer is a resounding no- then I say it's time you celebrate the holiday on your own terms.
Reflections on my definition of family as we begin a Jewish New Year
In my 47th year of life on this planet and in the wake of my both my father and mother's respective deaths I feel like I am seeing my life and the things I hold so dear in a new light.
And I believe it's time that I no longer allow myself to feel compelled to partake in the pressures of creating relationships with people who may share a bloodline with me- but have little else and /or next to nothing to do with who I am, who I've become and who I aspire to be.
This Jewish New YearJewish New Year when it comes to Reflections on my definition of family I will teach my kids, that family is not where you come from- but who you've become and who you choose to bring into your life.
Family is who you can call when your kid is running a fever, and drop off your other kid at their house with little or no notice so that you can see a doctor.
Family are the people from who you draw your strength and, on a daily basis, bless your life with their presence and love. In my humble opinion, creating these traditions and modeling these behaviors for my children, are what life affirming celebrations truly ought to be about.
And with all that in mind Each fall, Jews around the world celebrate the High Holidays: Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement).
It's a time when one can take a deep breath and think about the ways to make ourselves and the world a better place. Traditionally, many families celebrate the holidays at synagogue and with relatives and friends.
This year, to stay safe, many are staying home, so PJ Library has created a free, everything-you-need family guide to help celebrate what may be many family's first High Holidays spent entirely at home.
A few of the offerings in the fall guide include: Jewish New Year, Family Conversations, and a tasty Challah Recipe
For High Holiday playlists, music videos, and podcast episodes, check out the kid-friendly and absolutely free audio streaming options at PJ Library Listen.
PJ Library is also partnering with Kosher.com to present their newest “Nosh & Nibble” young chef from Los Angeles, who will demonstrate easy recipes in three upcoming episodes!
The description of the uncle in the tweed jacket with the common law alcoholic wife cracked me up. I stopped going to those extended family events long ago for my mental health. Happy Jewish New Year to your family.
Oh how cool. I didn’t know about this. I’m always interested to learn about other people’s cultures and religions. I’ve always wanted to try challah.
Spending Rosh Hashannah at home this year is different. I\’m used to friends and family all gathering together to celebrate. I\’m definitely stealing that challah recipe 🙂 Shana Tova!
This year has brought such big changes to all of us. You have the right idea bout they way you’re looking at things, though. The spirit is still the same, even if the venue is different.
What a wonderful time of year for Jewish families and the community. There is nothing more special than spending time with family and friends who are like family. The PJ Library sounds like a wonderful resource for families, too.
Happy new year! Family gatherings can be overwhelming but this year especially I wish I could be with them.
I enjoyed reading this and learning a bit about about how you think and such. I haven\’t ever felt compelled to go to the few family gatherings that we do have. I stopped going many years back when I realized my kids were more uncomfortable than I was (and I was always rather uncomfortable). We started our own traditions with closer members of our extended family so that we\’re all comfortable, and happy in a way that helps continue our positive relationships with others.
For me, family is really my everything and this blog is really heartwarming. It’s great to know more about the cultures and traditions of other countries. It’s fascinating to know their gatherings.
Family is when you feel comfortable to talk about everything, when you can rely on for anything.
This makes a lot of sense. Why have dinner once a year with that aunt that doesn’t show they care about you any other day of the year? Happy upcoming new year for you!
Thanks for sharing this. I’m always interested in learning about other religions.
We are taking each day as it comes so we’re not sure yet how we’re going to celebrate the holidays this year. We usually spend it with my BIL and his family. Remains to be seen.
That staten Island trip brings back my memories 10 years ago. When we had our first trip to Statue of Liberty. Fun trip hope we can do it again in the near future.
I think family is so important. In times like now it’s even more important then ever. I love to spend time with family whenever possible.
Happy Jewish New Year. It seems to be a time of reflection and reset for family. I wish you all the best.
The PJ Library sounds like a great resource! I can relate to this so well. I’ve already decided to skip this year’s Thanksgiving celebration with my husband’s side of the family. While I enjoyed their company for many years, I don’t want to spend time with people who support a man who directly harms my children and groups that are trying to take away their rights.
Family is what is important. We cannot celebrate our holidays in the traditional ways, but we can still celebrate as a family. Happy new year!