Should Husband And Wife See The Same Therapist?
None of us was brought up perfectly. Our parents, like all normal humans, had their flaws, weaknesses, and fears. But every moment of one’s childhood can reflect on their adult life.
Very often, we have difficulties in building strong romantic relationships with other people. We either blame our partners for not being caring and good enough or hate ourselves for each and every failure.
But is it really the reason? Does life indeed always send us only bad partners? Are we really just unable to maintain a relationship? Or maybe the problem stems from something completely different?
In most cases, all our failures in love are the result of the earliest memories we hold. The human brain copies the patterns of behaviour, feelings, emotions a person learns while being a child and then exhibits them in adulthood.
If we want to be happy in relationships, we should not start from looking for a decent partner. First of all, we have to become friends with ourselves, so we attract only the right people in life.
If we truly love our partners and want our relationship to grow stronger, we should understand that there is a deep reason behind every painful thing they do to us. Maybe, they even don’t mean to hurt us, but it’s their childhood that doesn’t let them be more caring and attentive?
Only a good therapist can help us build a healthy relationship. California Divorce Guide, for instance, says that before making a final decision about divorce, people should go to a psychologist together.
By why is it so important to go to the sessions together? Why can’t only one partner visit a therapist? Or why can’t two people go to different psychotherapists?
Should Husband And Wife See The Same Therapist?
Well, first of all, two partners cannot go to different therapists, because there should be only one psychotherapeutic method applied to both. Most people think that every therapist cures their patients in the same way. But, in reality, there is no unique formula to make one’s relationships stronger.
Some specialists prefer cognitive behavioral therapy, and others may like transactional analysis therapy. There are many different ways to help couples, but the main rule is that both partners should undergo the same curing method.
Let’s imagine for a second that the psychological factors that trigger problems in a romantic relationship are a bacterial disease both partners have. One of them is cured with antibiotics while another one with home remedies. The one who had been prescribed antibiotics was cured first, but they will catch a disease all over again until the second partner becomes completely healthy.
A husband and wife should attend the same therapist in order to make the same progress together and to be cured in the same way. Usually, if only one partner undergoes therapy, it will be good only for them as an individual. But for the relationship, it won’t be so effective as when both a husband and a wife see a therapist.
You Can Fight Infront Of A Doctor
Strangely enough, a session might be the only place where partners can say what they really want from the relationship. Getting very emotional during heated arguments at home, we forget to sit and talk about what really bothers us and how to solve the situation.
Many people don’t understand where their emotions stem from. Only a therapist can help you both come to a conclusion. You might be touched when you suddenly understand that your wife does not scold you for going out with friends to a pub because she hates it when you are having fun. But just somewhere deep inside, she is afraid to be left by the person she truly loves.
You might burst into tears when you realise that your husband doesn’t avoid you on purpose. Just when he was a child, his parents were not the people he could completely rely on, and he learned that he should keep an emotional distance from people in order to survive.
The power of couple therapy is incomprehensible. It lets you see the little child that begs for love and attention behind your partner’s strong shoulders. The moment when husband and wife come to this discovery about each other is probably more intimate than the day when they say ‘Yes’ to each other.
It’s a brave step to tell about all your emotions and feelings to the third person. Going to a therapist may require some courage during the very first sessions. But it’s much better than complaining about your partner to friends or family members.
Your spouse is your choice. Even in the moments of very terrible fights, you should remember that this is love that joins both of you. If you feel that your negative emotions are too strong sometimes, it might be high time to seek some help from a specialist.
Should Husband And Wife See The Same Therapist? Bottom line… The moment when you decide to go to therapy together might be the dawn of a new level of your relationship. And it might become the only rescue to the marriage, which you thought was not possible to save.