The 10 ABC's of Marriage PROVE MY POINT. I have always said that Marriage is not a sprint – it's a MARATHON.
So when I saw this post from Lori Palatnik Founding Director of Momentum I had to share because it reiterated what I have always said, “marriage is WORK, but it's the best work”
So without Further ado here are The 10 ABC's of Marriage!
Today my husband and I celebrate 34 years of marriage– the longest I have ever done anything in my life (besides observing shabbat!)
And in honor of our anniversary:
The 10 ABC's of Marriage: Always Be Choosing
1. Choose your spouse wisely. Until you know who you are and where you are going, you don't know who to go with. I did a lot of self growth work and values introspection before I met my husband, otherwise I would have passed him by.
2. Choose to be “all in”– don't even consider another option. (Yes, there are times to get divorced, but 90% of the time, if you stay in, you will get through it and come out even stronger on the other end). Most of marriage is being completely committed for the long run.
3. Choose to work– yes, marriage is a lot of work, and so worth it!
4. Choose to see their challenging qualities as your opportunities to grow. Becoming a more patient, loving, understanding and supportive person means you are becoming…a great person! (Hmmm, maybe that's why G-d sent you this person….)
5. Choose Sh’lom Bayit– when you choose the path of peace, you never lose. I have seen time and time again that when you make that choice, G-d works everything out in your favor.
6. Choose to remodel with separate bathrooms. It will be the best money you ever spent.
7. Choose your battles– better to lose (or pass up) a battle or two than lose the war.
8. Choose the high road, there's less traffic. You can never go wrong being your best self, even when they don't “deserve” it. Don't give them what they deserve, give them what they need.
9. Choose to let it go– my mother says the secret to a long marriage is a short memory.
10. Choose eternity– Rabbi Leib Kelemen says and sources that 98% of our Olam Haba (World to Come) is based on how we treat our spouse in this world (!) It's wonderful to help others, but marriage is the true lab of our character and what we will be judged upon.
Happy to hear your choices!
With gratitude to Hashem for giving me the clarity and courage to make the right choice 34 years ago, and the ability to always be choosing.
Missing you all. Good Shabbos, Shabbat Shalom!