As a 24 year old year old I was blinded by the brilliance of a Tiffany cut engagement ring, as in I HAD TO HAVE IT, which is actually quite antithetical to my nature. But I think I got slightly swept up by that crazy Bridezillaesque attitude that claims some of us women who allow themselves to get lost in trappings of becoming a bride.
All of a sudden I had this pressing need to have a Tiffany cut engagement ring- to which my clueless husband shrugged his shoulders. So I did what any other self respecting must have a shiny perfect cut, and clarity diamond engagement ring about to be bride would do…I marched him to Tiffany’s on fifth avenue and had an associate get all hot and bothered convinced we were shopping for our forever ring at Tiffany’s. And then he knew- this is what I wanted, and four months after we met– my man presented me with that gleaming diamond.
On July 19, 2017 it will be was 20 years to the day that we first met, and I think I have only worn my ring a handful of times. Don’t get me wrong, I love that ring- and I feel like my husband, who had waited till the ripe old age of 39 to present someone with a ring like that- was truly using that moment and that piece of jewelry as a symbol of his devotion to our relationship. He wanted me to know that my needs were important to him. And in that respect alone- after a whirlwind fourth month courtship , that ring solidified our commitment to one another.
Looking back I also think my need to wear and possess such a piece of jewelry was more about this perceived pressure to get that ring to flash around for others than for my own gratification,and well, at 43 years old, I feel no need to wear it. My husband, on the other hand has not taken off his wedding band since the day we said I do.
I’ve told him time and again that it is unnecessary to wear that ring. That we don’t need a physical totem of our bond. What we have is deeper than any tangible piece of jewelry. Our commitment needs no physical manifestation- to which he says, ” gee Melissa I WISH you would’ve felt this way 18 years ago when I forked over a small fortune to get you that princess cut Tiffany engagement ring.”
My husband still wants me to wear my ring, and says he will be buried in his. I say eh- I’m not interested. How do you feel about wearing your wedding ring- do you? Do you think your husband should too?
At 7 months pregnant with my youngest, I had to have my rings cut off because I could not get them off. My youngest is now two and I have done nothing to repair it. One day I will. I still love my husband, but do not have the rings to wear.
I wear my engagement and wedding ring all the time, as does my husband. It’s a reminder every time we look at it when we’re apart of the bond we share. And that’s us… Granted, he had to get an all fancy etched wedding ring that was more expensive and I tried to talk him out of – because less than a year later of daily wear and the etching was completely worn off – but the meaning behind it was more important. And yes, we have sayings engraved on both of ours that were a surprise until our wedding day when we exchanged rings.
I haven’t worn mine in years for the same reasons!
Robin rue says
My husband doesn’t wear his wedding ring. It’s uncomfortable for him and I always told him that it doesn’t matter to me because I know he loves me whether or not he has a ring on.
I wear mine off and on. I completely agree with your sentiments.
i haven’t ever really thought about this and considering i am not not married or engaged yet but these are all great points to think of when and if do get married. thanks for sharing this with us.
Karen Morse says
It’s probably different for everyone. I like to make sure that I wear mine as much as I can. It’s a beautiful symbol of love and I just like wearing mine. It’s perfectly okay though if you choose not to.
I can’t relate to the wedding ring but there’s certainly things I’ve thought I must have in the past that were branded like tiffany etc and now I never would wear it haha. I agree with your sentiment that a ring is just a ring – your devotion to each other isn’t characterised by a ring. BUT it is super cute that your husband loves to wear his!
Terri Steffes says
My husband of 40 years continues to wear the same ring I gave him. I have been fortunate to have a husband who allows me to “upgrade” over the years. I love my rings, they are a tangible reminder of my commitment to him and our marriage. I can understand why someone would not need to wear the ring. But then, sell it. A beautiful ring like that deserves to be worn!
Shoshana Sue says
I don’t put much weight on the wedding ring but the engagement ring and when I say my ‘I Do’, I will take it off and just remain with my engagement. Wearing one ultimately comes down to each couple though, some people that I know sadly take off their rings so that they can cheat freely. Sad I know.
I wear mine most of the time. I love my ring and don’t like to leave the house without it. My husband wears his all the time too
When we got married, my husband was a poor sailor, so my ring was nothing to write home about. LOL During my third pregnancy, I had to have it cut off (I was HUGE). When we talked about getting it fixed, my husband suggested getting a bigger diamond and using the existing diamonds in a pattern around the big one. I said no. My ring is perfect the way it is. It reminds me of our humble beginnings and I love reminiscing about all the memories we’ve made. I also don’t want to spend money on a ring, when we could use better use that money elsewhere and I don’t want to wear a ring I’ll be scared to lose (because of it’s value), or draw attention to myself to get robbed. That’s just being honest. It’s a symbol of our love, so I like to wear it proudly, even though noone else knows our story, I do… and I love to be reminded of it. (Sorry for the essay. LOL)
I wear mine always. Except right now because I’ve been really swollen with my weight up and down from having a baby! I love mine though, and wish I didnt have to take it off!
Cindy Ingalls says
I think both should wear their wedding rings. My husband never wore his but then he is my ex-husband because he cheated on me. Did not wearing a wedding ring make it easier to cheat?
Just some trivia. I live in California now, but I believe I worked in the building next door to the Tiffany’s you bought your ring at the time you bought it.
I always wear my ring. Not because I want to show the world I’m married. But because the diamond in my engagement ring was my Grandmother’s engagement diamond. And my mother put a deep fear in me when I got it that if I leave it at home, we’ll get robbed and the thieves will take it. So I never leave it home. Lol.
Cassie Tucker says
I guess everyone is just different, lol. I personally love wearing my wedding ring. The only time I take it off is if my fingers swell for some reason. My husband wears his all the time as well. We don’t anything extravagant to flash; we both just wear silicone rings.
Renee @ The Good Hearted Woman says
My husband and I met when we were fifteen and got engaged at seventeen. He gave me a small diamond solitaire engagement ring. When we graduated from high school, he went in the Navy and I went to college, and things didn’t work out for us at the time. I kept the ring. Fast forward: we got married 25 years later. We designed both our rings. Mine is a Celtic wedding ring, set with two emeralds (we are both May birthdays) and the little diamond from my first ring in the center. The gold from the original ring is in his ring. My wedding ring is one of the most precious “things” I own. It is so much more than just a piece of jewelry or a symbol to me – it reminds me that there is always hope, and happiness.
I wear my wedding ring almost every single day but honestly it’s more because I love the ring and not so much about what it symbolizes. We have been married for almost 12 years and this ring has been everywhere with me. It’s so full of every memory we’ve made.
My husband and I both have simple gold bands which we always wear. I wore my engagement ring everyday until I had my first baby, then I realized that changing so many diapers it was more of a safety hazard, so I took it off and I only wear it on special occasions.