After 21 years of marriage, my husband and I have fallen into a major relationship rut. As Sex and the City character Carrie Bradshaw would say, “We’ve become Mr. and Mrs. Married.” More than ever we need Tips to keep your Marriage’s Romantic Embers Burning.
That undeniable magnetism that drew us together, has not necessarily disappeared but after two kids, a mortgage and insurance payments its force has dissipated. And last night while sitting in bed, and realizing that we were both going gaga for …DRUM ROLL…for an infommercial product that could grind down our respective callouses – I realized our quality time spent together needed a bit of an OVERHAUL.
Let me paint you a picture:
Life, and all the demands of raising kids is wreaking havoc on your relationship with your husband; and has systematically robbed you of that passion; that fire that seemed to erupt in your belly, each time you just so much as glanced at your betrothed. In fact, when you look at your husband these days, all you can think of is; did you pay the gardener’s bill, remember to get the car’s oil changed and buy diapers for the baby. And if your husband leaves his shaving cream mess in the sink’s basin just one more time, well you’re simply going to lose it.
The stress of maintaining a household and kids has in effect driven a bit of a wedge between you and your man and that long dormant sparkle that seemed to ignite the minute you saw your love well it’s been all but extinguished.
So I asked Dr. Joni Frater and Esther Lastique, co-authors Love Her Right: The Married Man’s Guide to Lesbian Secrets For Great Sex! for their opinion on how important sex and time with your spouse in your marriage is and here is their take.
Tips to keep your Marriage’s Romantic Embers Burning
Tips to keep your Marriage’s Romantic Embers Burning
“When we make a habit of not being romantic and sexual, it becomes very easy to walk away from that side of ourselves. It’s also a scary proposition to build that bridge back to one another once the distance has been created. Remember the passion and love that brought you together and fight for it. Make romance your priority and your whole family will be happier and healthier.
They offer these two tips to keep your romantic embers burning , which of course will only enhance your sex life- and BIG Disclaimer- I have tried them and I’ll tell you they work.
The magic daily 10 minutes: If you simply can’t physically get away, Dr. Frater and Ms. Lastique suggest that every day, couples set aside 10 minutes to be completely alone, with no interruptions. That includes television, phones, and kids. During these ten minutes, you can talk about any topic that does not cause you stress that means no talk about the kids, work, in-laws or money and instead discuss topics that help you get to know each other again. Is there a new restaurant you want to try, a language you want to learn, a fantasy vacation you want to take, a vision of what retirement might look like? Find out what dreams and goals your partner has today chances are they might be different than the last time you asked.
Commit to making date nights with your partner: The easiest, fastest and cheapest way to transform your relationship is to revitalize your sexual connection. To do that with kids in the picture means setting boundaries and teaching the kids to respect them. You will all be happier for it.
So will you be taking a vacation from your kids anytime soon?
I think an occasional getaway also helps. We try to plan at least a long weekend away once a year where we don’t talk about work or whatever and just relax.
We need to get away! Maybe down the road. It can be tricky for him to get leave from the military. We also might start going on more dates since the kids are older.
I think that 10 minutes daily will make a huge difference. Pure communication without any distractions will be so helpful!
Making it a habit of making your husband or wife a priority is vital to a healthy relationship. Sometimes it’s hard to carve out a large swath of special time for them every day, so make Friday a date night. Plan a vacation. Leave little notes for them, or send loving text messages. Always take the time to let them know how special they are!
Keeping the romance long into marriage is so important. It makes all of the difference when it comes to happiness.
These are some great tips to keep the romance going in marriage. It\’s so important to remain connected with your partner.
21 years of marriage is an accomplishment and I admire you for that. And I couldn’t agree more with the tips. I think it’s important to spend time together, just the two of you as often as you can.
These are great tips to help stay connected to your spouse. My husband and I have been married for a long time, and we still laugh together every single day.
Yes! Commitment to a relationships means committing to make a continuous effort to be friends, partners, lovers. I’m a three strikes failure at marriage, so I can speak from experience that not being willing to follow these tips signals the end.
This does make sense when it comes to helping your relationship.
I’m single again after an 11-year marriage and I’ve taken time to reflect on things. Romance is hard when you have a disability. Over 75% of marriage where one spouse gets ill or diagnosed with major health issues ends in divorce. It’s a troubling stat and it shouldn’t be. Health issues are difficult but if you are a true partner you make it work the best you can and don’t make the other feel like a burden for something that can’t be controlled.
I think my parents need this! haha. They are married for 36 years and I know they need some time alone too.
I think 10 minutes daily is doable. It would be nice to know what my husband has been thinking (other than his pain). Even if words would not come, just sitting together holding hands would be nice.