To prenup or not. I know you probably just ASSUME that I’m a gold digger and really who could blame you I mean the title of my former site was MARRIED MY SUGAR DADDY. Still my sugar daddy, who was 38 when I met him and had been in a medical practice for a little less than 10 years-definitely had more “sugar” than the 23-year-old me, but NOTHING next to the sugar richness of a guy like Kelsey Grammer. Still our 15-year age gap raised a couple of eyebrows, especially among his entourage and I know most suggested that he get me to sign a prenup before our skip down the aisle.
So did he ask me to sign a prenup?! You betcha. Did I agree? HELL TO THE NO! Did he force the issue? Well let’s put it this way- he tried his darndest to explain that a prenuptial agreement had nothing to do with his feelings for me. He waxed about how much he loved and cherished me and how sure he was that we’d spend the rest of our lives together, yada yada and this was just a precaution in case our forever didn’t come to fruition. I remember he said ” think of it as insurance,” to which I said, “Um yeah, insurance for you- but what about MY INSURANCE?!” To which he said…nothing. Because that’ the point of a prenup it truly is about protecting the haves and not the have nots. And of course now 14 years into this marriage, my husband says he didn’t push the issue because he was stupid, in love and then his voice trails off. He also says that had we had one drawn up after the ten year mark, I would have been entitled to everything anyhow.
I get it, and if it was me trying to protect the assets I’d built up over the course of 10 years of toiling as a physician like my husband– I probably would have felt the same. Why take that leap of faith and risk losing everything if the marriage goes bad? But the way I see it– this whole marriage thing- is a LEAP of faith. You go into it- knowing that there’s a strong possibility things may not work out and backing up that knowledge with a prenuptial contract, in my opinion, gives you an out of that union before you even enter into it. And after logging 21 LONG years into my union- I can honestly say- had I signed that piece of paper…perhaps when I asked my husband one too many times to take out the trash, did he change his clothes, did he walk the dog, why isn’t he effusive, why can’t he compliment me more, blah, blah.. he might have just ended it (knowing he’d walk away with his finances in tact). Whereas being uncertain about what could potentially happen, (without a prenup) – had we decided to end our marriage NOT having one was kind of like MY insurance. It made it just a tad more difficult for him to bolt as opposed to staying and working through whatever our issues were, are, have been, continue to be….
Still I’m curious to hear what you think- to prenup or not?