I'm putting it out there- because this is what I do- I talk about my life and what really goes on behind closed doors on this blog. I've said it before and I will say it again- I love my husband, truly, madly and deeply. I can't imagine a day on this planet without his ever present grunts and quizzical looks at me for something I've done that he would NEVER DO, his completely unconditional love of my very essence- stripped down bare. And he has proven this love for me as I've laid on my bed these past couple of days so full of mucous it would make any sane person head for the hills as I asked for yet another tea, cough drop and to please stay up with me at 4:30 am and watch The Jefferson's because I couldn't sleep to which he obliged.
For the record George and Weezie provide the ultimate comedic relief when one feels like their head is about to explode. But I digress. This is a real issue I've come to understand as I enter that phase of my life where I'm acutely aware of these couples' dates- i.e. married men and women who regularly go out for dinner and drinks with one another, while wives excuse themselves to go powder their noses and husbands get into heated conversations about the stock market and why Derek Jeter is not having the swan song year he should be—and that as a couple my husband and I RARELY go out with other couples and have these powdering our noses experiences.
In a nutshell my husband and I have very few if any couple friends- I sit here writing this as my husband is laying on the couch and watching me- and says, “I don't think you really care. I think you like the idea of it but you don't like doing it. When it comes down to getting dressed and going out- it's work to you and you don't really like doing it.”
Me: So essentially you are blaming me for us not having couple friends?
Him: I'm not blaming anyone I think we are one of the same- I think we just like each other. I also think that our age difference plays a role in the kinds of couple friends that would appeal to both of us. I also think it's more my personality- I'm just not a social guy.”
Me: BUT YOU ARE SO FUNNY- you make me laugh all the time (one of the reasons I stay married to you) I wish you would share your wit and charm with other couples.
And this is usually where our conversation comes to a standstill. My husband then tells me to stop worrying so much about what I believe I should have in my life and focus more on what I do have in my life. Which is a loving and devoted husband and father who keeps our little family chugging along.
It's not really an issue- but sometimes, when I'm laying in bed at night watching the Jefferson's and their close knit relationship with their neighbors I get wistful for the fact that you won't often find me saying in passing conversation – “oh we're off having dinner with the Willis'”.
So please share-do you and your spouse have close relationships with other married couples and if so- what's the secret sauce to making it work- your shared love of booze, gossip and the fact that you were all born in the same generation so you all get eachother's Reality Bites references?