When you first meet your spouse who thinks about the possibility of breast cancer? …So I had my annual OB/GYN pap and boob check yesterday– fun stuff I know-and my beloved gynecologist- who actually reminds me of my dad which makes me adore him that much more gave me some sobering food for thought. He said he was reviewing my medical history, and he was concerned about the fact that my husband’s mother died of breast cancer and his aunt passed from ovarian cancer. Having this high incidence of these types of cancer in the family there is a possibility that my husband is a carrier of the BRCA1 gene , which means my daughter could be at a higher risk to develop these cancers.
Just hearing that my heart went straight into my throat– this daughter- who I’ve painstakingly raised from the size of a pea- watching, hovering, feeding worrying over and protecting– all of that still may not be able to protect her from the one thing that is out of my control; her biology.
Of course I immediately rack my brain trying to figure out a way that I could have avoided ever having to consider getting my daughter tested and the what ifs of how we would handle and face the results of that test were the outcome positive.
I think about when I first met my husband– there was such much joy and this overwhelming sense of possibility. I knew from the moment he brought me wrist guards on our second date ( we’d gone rollerblading on our first date and I hadn’t had any protective gear) that he had the kind of nurturing soul that makes a great father. I wanted so desperately to start a family with this man- to produce two little people who were essentially products of our love.
So, of course hearing this very sobering news that part of his DNA could be a culprit in causing our daughter to experience any type of pain in the future- well it is even painful for me to type. I honestly never even considered when we met- asking my husband for a complete and thorough medical history — and even knowing what I know now- would I have done anything differently? Would I have chosen not to marry this man?
We want to convince ourselves that we have some type of control over our future, and the destiny of our kids..but really we can take every precaution, ask every question, and ultimately, that control and that ability to steer clear of any future danger- I just don’t think any of us have that power. The real question for us now is once we get this information- what should we do with it?
It’s actually crazy how much we don’t think about medical stuff at all until we get hit with it. It’s good to be aware and at least you know so she can get checked as she gets older.
I would have had the same reaction you did. And nobody thinks to ask their date, their family history. You know, just in case you produce a family together.
I know I’ve never thought of any medical history when it came to my marriage. I think maybe people might feel it’s a taboo subject, or, we’re living in the moment of connecting with our partner. I’m glad your OB/GYN made you aware of this, so it’ll be better to monitor your daughter.
I’ve never really thought about this before. It’s never something that seems to come up in the beginning steps of a relationship. I wonder, if it had, would you have chosen to not be with him?
When I met my spouse I never thought about anything health issues. I probably should of thought about that.
As one who has had breast cancer and wished I could have predicted that I would be a victim, I say use whatever technology is available to help you make informed choices. I wish I could have had something to help me.
Definitely not something I asked or thought about when I met my husband for the first time, but my family’s medical history has always been of great concern to me. All I want to do is to make sure that I’ve taken all the steps to keep them all safe and healthy, the rest is up to God.
I had the same reaction you did about 2 years ago.We have 3 daughters and my husband mom died of cancer. Education and early detection is the key.
Ii can’t imagine how you must feel in this situation. You’re right. What do you do with the information?
This definitely has me thinking. I never thought to ask my spouse any medical history. It has honestly never crossed my mind until we had children, and then we have to start answering what diseases run on each side when they get their physicals. He has quite the list of some conditions that I definitely do not want my kids to experience.