A while ago I took part in a HuffPost Live discussion titled Why Your Bank Account Can Make You More Attractive and of course writing a blog called Married My Sugar Daddy it was a SLAM DUNK that the producers would contact me and ask me if I wanted to be a guest- as they would assume that I married for money and not for love. And that would be partly true. Obviously what attracted me to my husband was his financial security and earning power and the fact that he had a good head on his shoulders and had a plan. Of course I did spend years fighting with him over what I can now ( after having done this segment label his SAVER nature) I did on occasion use the C word when it came to describing him. But I think it was because I didn’t really understand his emotional connection and relationship to money. I think that is a really important factor that all spouses need to keep in mind before they start throwing out the C word accusing their partners of being cheap.
On the first date- my husband did not pull out a coupon. During my segment it was stated that some women like a man who will use a coupon on a first date- because that is an indication that the man is showing his true nature- and is not holding anything back. That would’ve been a deal breaker for me. And I feel that if my husband’s true nature was to coupon our entire life, that is something I could not have lived with for the past 17 years. Rather my husband has always been very careful about what we have spent our money on and has splurged when the time was appropriate. I feel that he has always been transparent about his feelings towards money – and while when we first got married I was too immature to appreciate his SAVER qualities I now realize how lucky I am to be linked to such a guy. I also wish I would’ve spent less time arguing with him about these Saver qualities which I now cherish.
So what is my advice to women who are dating?
Stick with the guy who understands the value of a dollar. Stick with the guy who would rather buy you a gorgeous engagement ring- than a porsche for himself. Stick with the guy who saves for his kids’ college education instead of buying the latest flat-screen tv. Stick with a guy who is THE GOOD BOY- the bad boy may be a little sexier but the good boy is MORE RELIABLE and in the end more attractive.
For the record– my husband the SAVER says- Don’t use the coupon on a first date–because there are some things that are worth the splurge- and that’s one of them!
So do you agree —would you prefer a partner who knows how to save money over a well-dressed spouse with a toned physique. Does cold, hard cash matter more when it comes to lasting love?
What is the benefit of marrying a man with money if it seems he gets to make all the decisions about how it is spent? Stingy people are usually selfish too, and hopefully your hubby isn’t one of these. It is one thing to live within a budget and seek to make wise financial decisions, but a person who is obsessed with every purchase they make and spending money is painful for them is someone I would run from. Those with cheap OCD also put more time, effort and energy into saving amounts that are not equivalent to expenditure, which is not rational.
Do you at least have the freedom to spend the money you earn freely without hubby’s oversight? I hope so.
I think saving is a great quality in a spouse. Much better than the alternative!
I have a partner who is a saver and since I am not, I am thankful for him. I realize this more and more as we get older!
My ex-husband was the “c” word. And that’s one reason he’s my ex. I love generosity as a trait.
There is a difference between being cheap and being a saver. I’m so thankful my huz is a safer. Someone in the relationship has to be and understanding how to budget and live a secure life is a huge asset in my opinion!
I appreciate my husband’s saver nature, but I am so glad he’s not cheap. There’s definitely a difference!
My husband is DEFINITELY the saver in our relationship, but it is a perfect balance. I can sometimes convince him to step outside his comfort zone and he reigns me in when I need it. I’m grateful for his relationship with money.