Ahh it is the eternal question how old is too old for a man to have a baby…I mean Larry King – now in his eighties has got two young tykes with his seventh or is it eighth wife and he seems to be holding up pretty good, no?!
I always thought I wanted lots of kids, tugging at my skirt, obviously I must have been delirious thinking I’d be wearing skirts… but really I just wanted to make sure that my kids would have each other to lean on- and take turns caring for their old mama who was running around the neighborhood in her bathrobe and living in a house filled with shelter dogs. Yes that will be me- I’m quite sure years from now.
My husband who just turned the ripe old age of 54 this year– I know it’s even weirder typing this than it is saying it– and I his MUCH younger wife will be turning 39… and I wonder if he was younger would I still want to have more kids? Would he?
I know what his response would be, a resounding no and I know it’s because he’s afraid he won’t be around when the kids we already have get older. Sure the diapering and bottles would kind of suck– but I think he’s more worried about the future and being, perhaps in diapers himself, when our kid is a teen who needs an active dad to play catch ( still waiting to “see” him play catch with our seven year old) and teach him how to drive a car.
So as my eggs dry up, these are the thoughts racing around in my head, hoping my daughter and son won’t resent me for not pushing out a couple more kids.
Can always count on your candidness Melissa. My hubby's 11 yrs older, in his 50's too. He actually entertained the idea of having a second child to help take care of our mentally handicapped only child after we're gone. You can imagine my reaction. Yup… he got the "killer" look. Thanks for sharing.
Great post, Melissa. I can so identify.My hubby is 54, I am 37. We have a blended family of 7 – 4 mine, 3 his. I would love love love to have an OURS baby. But he is 54 – is it fair to the hubby, is it fair to the kid?? Does me wanting one over ride all of the other considerations?Melissa, there are some cultures that practise polyandry, having more than one husband. I can see how this might be helpful in some situations. There would always be a father figure to play ball with the kid…..food for thought….
Interesting…what makes you think that your kids will be there taking care of you when you are older? I have to say that working in the medical field I see numerous elderly patients who come in all alone, frail and all. They have children who are just too busy with their own lives to "worry" and be there for their ailing parents…sad but true. Just because we do the best we can to raise and take care of our kids does not mean in any way that the favor will be paid back.
I have 2 kids… both me and my husband are turning 30 this year .. and we are D-O-N-E. lolI don't think your kids would resent not having more siblings.. 2 is a nice number :)*side note- though shhh! don't tell my husband I admitted this– I like to get under his skin about having a 3rd just to know he'd be open to it IF (which I don't) wanted another… yea Im twisted like that. lol
Melissa,
I think sometimes kids resent having older parents especially when they are asked if they are with their grandparents when they attend school functions, etc. When to have children is a personal choice, but I think that men (and women) who have children so very late in life are not being fair to the children because more than likely they (the parents) won’t be around to see their children grow into adulthood, become parents and enjoy grandparents. Of course I know people who are older than me with very young children and they seem fine with it, I just wonder how their children will feel when they have to possibly make some tough life decisions about their parents (i.e., assisted living) in their early 20’s or 30’s….these are just my thoughts….