You’re pretty sure you’re fully covered when it comes to what not to do on a date; no blatant farting or revealing the fact that mental illness runs rampant on your father’s side of the family. And yet, despite putting on your game face and playing by the rules, the last three dates you went on yielded no second ones. Clearly you must be doing something wrong. Here’s how to get it right!
According to the CEO of eLove, Paul A. Falzone, if you keep the following top 10 things in mind, you’ll not only be closer to securing second dates, you may actually have fun in the process.
10 things you should do on a first date and why:
#1 Be on time.
If making a good impression is important to you, be on time. And if it looks like you might be more than 10 to 15 minutes late, call and let your date know.
#2 Dress for the occasion and venue.
You don’t want to overdo it and you certainly don’t want to dress too casually. Business casual works pretty much anywhere.
#3 Draft a list of things to discuss.
You don’t necessarily want to script your date, but having an outline of topics is not a bad way to go. Some questions you can pose to your date include: the latest movie you’ve seen; the most recent book you’ve read; what your typical work day is like; musical interests; favorite sports, hobbies, etc.; current events; what you do for fun and relaxation.
#4 Smile.
For no other reason than a smile is a sign of positive reinforcement. Remember, the person sitting across from you is also on a first date and nothing puts people at ease like a smile.
#5 Say something nice.
You don’t want to be over the top with flattery. Still, commenting on a nice shirt, pretty eyes and a beautiful smile does not hurt.
#6 Listen, listen, listen.
Asking questions are all well and good. Listening to the answers and then using that as a basis of discussion works wonders.
#7 Select a neutral location to meet.
Don’t meet at your favorite restaurant or his local sports pub where all his buddies hang. You want to meet at a fairly neutral site where you’re not likely to be interrupted by your friends or acquaintances.
#8 Go for a walk.
Consider a walk in the park as a first date. If not, incorporate walking as part of the date — even if it’s a walk to the other’s car. Sitting at a table with someone you’re just getting to know puts a lot of pressure on coming up with things to talk about. By incorporating a walk into the first date, it provides a more casual setting and gives you some visual stimulus should the conversation lag.
#9 Say thank you.
Even if you go Dutch, it’s always good practice saying thank you to the other party for taking the time to get together.
# 10 Saying goodnight.
Make some sort of definitive move. Be it a handshake, hug or kiss. Use your judgment based on how the date has gone. And if you don’t feel like doing any of those, you probably have your answer on whether or not there should even be a second date.
All very valid and great tips! Dont be so nervous that you dont smile.
Patricia Higginbottom