things I wish someone told me about parenting BIG KIDS is written in partnership with CanvasDiscount.com
When I finally reached the end of my parenting days diapering, securing the cabinets, making sure my kids ate their veggies (Okay STILL working on that one when it comes to my 16 year old and we are making progress this year he added asparagus to his vegetable repertoire which also includes broccoli but I digress) I thought the hard labor part of parenting was behind me. And in a sense that was partly true.
Those initial years of parenting require a Hurculean physical effort; the toting, the sleepless nights, the constant chasing, the potty training- which has me confounded as to how the way past 35 year old Janet Jackson is managing an infant at her advanced maternal age- although she will likely have a boatload of help, whereas most over 35 year old women do not- but that too is a tangential thought, but I think the most difficult and challenging part of this parenting gig comes when your kids get bigger, and braver, and more opinionated and yes more independent.
While my 19 year old daughter is a great kid- there are certainly things I wish someone would’ve told me about raising kids–that those diaper explosions were the easy part and the messiest parts of parenting would come when I tried to both give my daughter her wings while at the same time I wanted to CLIP THEM.
I guess if I had to come up with 4 things that might have better prepared me for parenting a big kid-(although we all know it impossible to prepare for EVERYTHING) here are what they would be:
#1 The older your kids get- the less they will want to hear YOU TALK, which means you have to actively practice being a good listener. Don’t give advice- just LET them talk to you. BY THE WAY: So much easier said than done.
#2 Don’t make a BIG DEAL out of things. You have to learn how to keep a low-profile and not make a fuss over any of your child’s accolades or “special friendships”. Which of course is slightly difficult being that as a parent you can’t help but want to KVELL over your kids’ milestones– but alas– you have to learn to keep all your happiness Bottled up until your kid tells you it is OFFICIALLY okay to let the EXCITEMENT FLOW!
#3 The old “I said so,” doesn’t hold as much weight as it did when your kids were three and TRULY believed what you said was LAW. By the time they turn around 12 that ship has SAILED.
#4 Be ready for those moments in which your very independent and opinionated big kid will disarm you with their charm and their ability to curl up in your lap, wrap their rather large arms around you and tell you how much they love you ( and DON’T CRY – if it is at all possible to stop that waterworks of tears!)
4 things I wish someone told me about parenting BIG KIDS — that i want to savor and freeze every single moment, that i feel like i have two hearts walking this earth…
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My kids are still little (2 and 6 months). Love reading posts like this to help me prepare for what the future holds!
So true! I have two big kids, and sometimes they love me, other times they want space. And that’s okay. But both still will come hang out with me on the couch and my 14 year old daughter will still sit on my lap.
Oh, man, these are such great tips. I was always so bad at being a good listener. I always wanted to offer advice or fix things. That’s the biggest one on this list for me.
These are all wonderful tips. Parenting teens is definitely has its challenges.
That’s so true about listening. No one wants to be barked at, so we have to get more creative as they age.
I love parenthood tips. It’s shareable to all my friends.
Great info. My kids are still small and it gives me an early understanding on how to treat and taking care a big kids in the future. Thanks for sharing!
These are all great tips. Mine are still quite young so I’ll be taking the info here on board. It doesn’t get any easier or so I’ve seen.
Thank you for these amazing parenting tips that I could use in the future.
You are right, my son seems to be annoyed when I talk. I am just trying to be patient and understand but it is hard sometimes. thank you for the tips
Kids are really hard to understand. My kids are now teens and all i do is be a supportive mom for them. These are very amazing tips! I’ll add them to myself for a better parenting.
These are some great tips on parenting big kids, I am the same with my son, being a good listener sure makes a difference.
These are some great tips. I can relate to some of these, and my kids are just preteens.
I am so glad you shared this! Mine are still little, but I will be referencing this when they get older!
Parenting definitely evolves over the years. As my kids get older, I am relating to all of these things as well.
I agree to all these. It’s harder when they turned teen.
These are great tips, I need to keep in mind as my kids are growing up too. Now they are 9 and 12 year old.
My daughter is now 22, so I’m done parenting. However, you’re never done being a parent and offering advice and helping them. It just changes in the way we do things with/for them.
This is such a good read! It’s not really easy to be a parent but very fulfilling. We don’t have manuals for that. These are realky great insights.