I never thought I’d be one of those moms. The mom who flinches when her five year old son asks if he can take a dance class. I hate admitting my reservations about his request. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I stuff his little body in a straight jacket and forbid him to move his body to music. Quite the contrary. Ever since he was named, Best dancer of the summer at his day camp, (although I’m not quite sure what the actual criteria for achieving such an accolade could’ve been) I’ve encouraged his love of dancing, with our impromptu dance parties in the living room and cheered him on as he’s showcased his very Unique moves for any audience he can assemble; i.e.. his grandparents.
I adore that he’s shown an interest in something other than SpongeBob, Mario and his sidekick Luigi- and yet when he asked to attend dance classes, a red flag flashed before my eyes. I pictured him in a tutu, wearing ballet slippers and I allowed society’s mores , about the roles our boys are supposed to maintain to infiltrate my consciousness and I caved into the pressure. I simply wasn’t brave enough to say, Yes neighbor, I have a son, and I don’t care that he wears a leotard and pirouettes to his little heart’s content. He’s a dancer and I love him.
The thing is I want to be able to do just that, so why am I finding it so difficult? Why am I allowing society’s traditional belief that boys should play with cars and take karate lessons as opposed to playing with Barbies and practicing ballet, to inform my decision. In fact each Tuesday, as he wistfully watches his big sister suit up in her ballet uniform and head off to class and looks at me and quietly asks, Mommy when will it be my turn to go to dance lessons? My heart breaks a little. Still I continually find myself telling him; Oh they are still planning a class that is special just for boys like you, lying through my teeth knowing full-well there is no such class in the works.
In a perfect world, I’d buy my five year old tights, a leotard and ballet slippers and send him off on his merry way. But we don’t live in a perfect world, and I don’t want him to be at the mercy of snickers from others about his ballet lessons. Or maybe it’s that I don’t want to be at the receiving end of other women, suspiciously questioning why my son wants to take ballet lessons as opposed to karate. I feel like I live my life with no regrets, I am an open book and I have nothing to hide and yet- this is one leap I’m afraid to take and I’m not sure why.
Two words: Billy Elliot.
Yes- and Baryshnikov:)
Does your son want to take ballet or just a regular dance class? There's all kinds of dance classes out there so surely there's something he'd like to do that you'd be okay with although I personally wouldn't have a problem with my son taking ballet. Ballet is really good for control, discipline, and balance. Serious ballet dancers are really more like athletes with the abuse their bodies take…couldn't imagine being on my tip toes all the time and those jumps have got to be brutal on the guys – I wonder how many times they get whacked in the head with a stray elbow or foot. OUCH.
One more thought for you…Dancing with the Stars! Those guys are awesome and make TONS of money doing something they love and they look pretty macho to me! lol
He wants ballet.. I know I shouldn't care-
I know– I don't think I could BEAR to ever put in him football:) and Dancing with the Stars Maxim is pretty darn sexy…
My eldest had no interest in dolls when she was little, she is almost 13 and now has no interest in babies unless they are covered in fur. When she was two we bought a dolls house and the Thomas the Tank table and his stuff!
At three and four, her best friend was a little boy called Matthew – he was all boy, rough and ready and a whirlwind in my home. When he visited he liked to wear my daughters pink slippers while she wore her blue one's and he always wanted to paint his nails (while she couldn't care less) His Mom never batted an eyelid, his Father would have lost his mind – I wonder where he is now. I always liked that his Mom let him go with it, and he was so little … sadly children today are cruel and unkind. And many parents fuel that fire. I hope that he just had a softer side that will behove him greatly if he is a Dad to little girls one day!
I totally get your fears, but take this one, one plie at a time, next week he may want to try ice hockey! And I agree Maxim is hot!
On Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps on PBS, they have a boy dancer named AZ. Ben will watch the show and likes the way AZ Dances (he does hip hop mostly). I don't think there's anything wrong if your son wants to take dance. I think my son would love it too. My child needs coordination and discipline and ballet is a great way to learn that. Maybe start with a camp that has a co-ed dance program.
Watch this video… how a mom dealt with an uncomfortable situation
http://jezebel.com/5664165/meet-princess-boy–his…
My son is very stereotypically "boy" but he also adores his very frilly, very feminine big sister. So, he likes to copy whatever she does, play with dolls, etc.
I get what you are saying, believing on one hand that it is fine but also not wanting to deal with ignorance from other parents or teasing from kids. My initial thought was hip hop classes, too…but you say he really wants ballet? Too bad you aren't in Manhattan… it would probably be easier to find a dance school with more boys enrolled.
I would let him do a class at the end of the session. He may love it or he may just outgrow it like 90% of the kids who take dance. Either way, you don't want it to become an unrequited obsession.
My son is opening as Fritz in the Nutcracker tonight with a major ballet company. He's 12. I could write a book but I have to run off to the show – I'll be in touch via facebook.
Bottom line: He loves it, got a full scholarship from the dance school and goes every day. Makes money at it now demonstrating for younger classes. He got accepted by audition for a program on the opposite coast last summer and spend 2 weeks there, dancing 10+ hours a day.
NOBODY at school teases him, ever. It's our generation that has hangups about this, not his.
I've a lot more to say – I'll be in touch. There are some fabulous mom bloggers who have ballet sons. Start here: http://boysballet.wordpress.com/
I used to be a fundraiser for the ballet, I can tell you there were plenty of guys who found a lot of female dates there! Not me of course!
http://www.gaynycdad.com
Actually, there is a boy in PP's ballet/tap class and he wears black sweats, a white t-shirt, and black dance shoes, which is the standard boy outfit. He is really adorable. Tights and leotards come much later.
It is hard to be that mom, but I bet you could do it.
Let him take ballet! It develops confidence, strength, coordination,and musicality. The boys don't always have to wear tights. Check out a good school that has a boys class. Observe and I think you'll be surprised at the athleticism involved.