I’ll admit it. I’m a sucker for a weddings. There is just something so magical, about the way a bride and groom look at each other as they’re walking down that aisle. They have this unfazed gaze; just all sheer love, lust and the anticipation of what’s to come. There’s this energy in the chapel that is almost palpable– and it’s like lightning in a bottle, once the vows are said, and the couple is pronounced husband and wife, that euphoric feeling almost instantly dissipates… WHY?
As I sat there and watched the bride literally glide down the aisle, I felt this lump in my throat- I don’t really remember my own wedding all that well-there are just several memories that are really vivid and the rest is a blur- which of course is why having a video is nice and both depressing- since it just reiterates the fact that so much has changed since that date.
I remember feeling so hopeful, on the cusp of all that newness, the plans we had- we were going to visit Italy, we were never going to go to bed angry, we’d never go a week without being together in the biblical sense and we were going to always finish each others’ sentence with the words, LOVE YOU. 17 years later we’ve never gotten farther than the US Virgin Islands ( saddled with two kids), we’ve gone to bed where there was a concern one of us might off the other during the course of the night( I KID) and my husband rarely uses the words I love you- unless he’s looking for some kind of “special favor” oh yes and we more often than not have at least one kid in bed with us and so being together in the biblical sense is not an easily doable feat.
So here I am sitting at this wedding and all I can think about is how we’ve veered kind far from the path we set out on. Don’t get me wrong- I love my husband-but do I look at my husband the way this bride gazed at hers as she walked down the aisle to him. Probably not. Albeit mine is NEVER wearing a tuxedo.
I asked my husband- “Honey why don’t we look at each other like that anymore?”
He says: “I still look at you like that honey, You still look as beautiful as the day I married you.”
I say, “Yeah, whatever cut the bullshit- that’s the champagne talking… wait I’ll get you another glass.”