When I met my husband who, at the time, was a ripe age of 38- he had NEVER BEEN MARRIED. And unless I planted the seed, “Get engaged or we cannot continue dating” chances are 18 years of mostly married bliss later he would still be a bachelor. I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t love being married ( although I’m sure he would be totally cool without my constant reminders of things he needs to do) in fact I recently told him he doesn’t need to wear his wedding band anymore ( since I never wear mine) and he flat out refused to take it off- I do think there are moments when whether it is consciously or subconsciously he truly FORGETS or Pretends that he is still that swinging 38-year-old bachelor eating takeout every night by himself ( as opposed to the takeout we usually eat together LOL). There are certain things he does which would make a stranger who just happened upon our lives truly believe that he was indeed a bachelor as opposed to a man married 18 years with two kids, two dogs and lots of responsibility.
I’m sure I too am guilty of sailing through life pretending via certain actions that I’m a singleton- in fact my husband thinks I should wear my wedding band. When I ask my husband why he does these things he tells me this:
“It’s not intentional. Just thoughtlessness”- Yeah- I don”t know- I’m kind of not BUYING his clueless routine…
#1: He thinks it’s absolutely fine to have a refrigerator that only houses cold beer. I’m serious if I took a photo of the inside of my fridge right now you would call Child Protective services on us- thinking we feed our kids a healthy diet of beer and beer alone. I made this point to him today and he said, ” really I didn’t notice” ( For the record he does the shopping in this house that is part of our marital agreement)
#2: When he does goes shopping he buys enough for one person. I do believe that when he goes into a store he is somehow transported 18 years back in time at which point buying three apples for the week would be totally cool. But buying three apples for a family of four for a week- well THAT amount is sufficient for a day.
#3 He still keeps his OLD ADDRESS book. My husband has this faux wood rolodex address book that no matter how frayed it is and the fact that he hasn’t opened it in 18 years to be exact- he needs to keep it in the kitchen. I’ve thumbed through the book as pages literally came off – and yes I scanned names of many women ( his exes) and while I still don’t understand why he insists on keeping this worn down book- he says I should leave it alone. IF THAT DOESN’T SCREAM BACHELOR I don’t know what does!
So can you relate? Does your spouse cling to their pre-marriage items and or act like they are still single?