I’ve been married for 18 years and with my husband for 20 years. I met him when I was 23 years old and while I truly believed I knew all there was to know about men, the bottom line is I knew NOTHING. I mean how could I possibly, truly understand what it feels like to think and be a man– I’m a woman. I don’t own those parts, I’m not privy to that psyche I simply don’t have INSIDER access to what goes on in the inner most workings of his head. Well all that changed ( quite unexpectedly I might add) when I gave birth to a member of the opposite sex.
It was, at least for me, a gradual reawakening to this other species- it was a chance to watch ( and take notes) on how this member of the male tribe EVOLVED. And yes it has explained to me in both large and small ways- what goes on inside the mind of my husband. It is akin to being a fly on the wall and getting a court-side seat to why it is when I tell my husband to do something, 20 minutes later it is not done and he says he never heard me tell him ( something my son says and does all the time). These Four things my son has taught me about the male species and more specifically my husband have actually allowed me to take a step back and breathe and rather than go on the offensive- I have learned to very carefully pick my battles, because now I am FINALLY beginning to understand what makes these Men I live with TICK.
#1 Boys like Men CANNOT MULTI-Task. If I ask my son a question while he is doing ANYTHING, watching TV, brushing his teeth, Staring into space and thinking about something, he will likely ignore me ( as will my husband). No he won’t ignore- he just won’t hear me. Really, he won’t hear anything I say because he can ONLY focus on one thing at a time ( much like my husband). Whereas I can be on the phone, computer, cleaning my dog’s ears and braiding my daughter’s hair and can STILL answer my son or husband when they ask me, “WHERE ARE MY SHOES?” Men- much like my son and husband are truly incapable of doing more than one thing at a time. So I’ve learned to ask for something when i have their COMPLETE attention ( instead of screaming like a banshee.) This knowledge has added years to my life.
#2 Boys like men can wear the same pair of pants for weeks. I thought my husband was the only person who could wear a pair of jeans until they simply faded away. And then I met my son, who can wear the same pair of pants for days and sees no problem or issue with the fact that he is WEARING THE SAME DIRTY PANTS FOR DAYS.
#3 Boys like men take their time in the bathroom. I thought there was NO ONE who could sit in the bathroom longer than my husband. Well my son has proven he has the chops to take down his father’s record. We are at the point in our relationship where he demands his privacy and of course I am more than happy to oblige but after thirty minutes in the bathroom I worry he has fallen down a rabbit hole. Much like my husband I will call in and say Are you okay and he will say. I”m fine MELISSA.
#4 Boys like men can take your breath away when you least expect it and remind you how utterly invested you are in them. My son can just look at me, or take my hand and tell me, ” Mommy I really love you,” and everything else, like the fact that he lost eight water bottles during the school year can just melt away. For those moments in time he has me locked in- I am his completely, utterly and so fully, his mom, his greatest ally and his number one fan. And yes, it’s true, my husband has this very same power over me.
I am so with you on this one. I understand men so much better after having two boys.
OMG Yes to 2 and 3. I find 2 sooooo weird and I just can’t even imagine. But 3 drives me nuts. I am so much happier now that we have two bathrooms and it doesn’t matter but when there was only one, OMG!
Yes! I feel like I could have written this to a T. So very true. I have 4 boys and know exactly what you mean!
What a fun post! I didn’t raise a son, so I really enjoyed getting this insight. It helped me understand my husband!
I have two boys and #3 is so true. They spend more time getting ready in the mornings than I do!
Hahaha this made me laugh so much! Totally agree. BUT – for the bathroom one we’ve got it swapped with my other half. I can sit there for half an hour and longer and he just can’t get his head around it (I’m sure I’m not the only one who reads books there right?) haahaha!
LOL my friends and I all talk about how different boys and girls truly are as kids. It helps me see my boyfriend in a different light for sure.
Interesting read! I’ve never thought about this comparison and what you can learn from it. Appreciate you sharing your lessons learned and hope it helps going forward!
These lessons are so true. I swear men can spend more time in the bathroom than women. It’s amazing how they will take a long shower but heaven forbid they change their pants. They are an entertaining bunch.
Yes! My little guy is only 3 but I can relate to most of these already, especially #3. Seriously, how long does it need to take?!
I have two sons and they definitely helped me in understanding men. I think these are all things that I can agree with when it comes to boys or men.
I don’t have kids but I have nephews and they definitely made me realize what men are like. These are all very accurate! Men require a little more training when it comes to these things.
This is so insightful! I never thought about my son like this, but boy is it true! I feel the same about my husband drawing me back in with just a few little sweet words.
I definitely can appreciate your perspective. You’d think it would be harder for me, as the mom of six girls, to “get it,” but you’d be wrong. Of course, I spent my entire childhood living at Boy Scout camps, so that probably helped some 😉
I don’t have a son but I sure would like to better understand my husband better! 🙂
I love this! I feel the exact same way about my son. I’m constantly amazed at how he is so much like his father – just in boy form… and it definitely works to husband’s advantage. It helps me to understand him and shower him with grace because he’s only a man – like my sweet son one day will be as well! Thank you for sharing… made me emotional thinking of how much my son is like his dad.
Aww that’s really great how having a son can give you some perspective on your husband! I hope one day that my kids will tell me why my husband is so weird LOL
I only have a girl so I can’t really compare but while reading the post I realized that I can see my husband in some of the points you described! That’s so funny
I love this and can definitely relate! I have 2 boys one is 15 years old. It amazes me when I’m doing laundry and see his tiny pile. I literally have to force him to give me his favorite pair of pants to wash.
The last one hold true for even my 4 year old. You can totally expect the unexpected. I can barely wait for my little boy to grow up
Hahahaha yup!!! My hubby will wear the same work pants every day!!! It’s just a completely normal
Thing to him where to me, ughhh!! Wash the things!!!!