So you are in the dating pool- and you meet a guy online and he seems really nice. You talk on the phone a couple of times- and exchange polite and witty banter. You decide it is time to take it to the next level and meet in person. You haven’t been on a date in a really long time and the panic starts to set in. You wonder if perhaps you should’ve used a picture for your profile that wasn’t 10 years old. You rack your brain, trying to remember the specifics of your life story that you shared with this person.
But you are both adults, and we all tend to fudge over the not-so-pretty parts of our pasts and present the very best versions of ourselves during these initial encounters. And really who could blame you? Is it really the best idea to tell this man, prior to meeting him that you never graduated from college? You’ve held a job as a white collar worker- – so for all intents and purposes you are educated-but you don’t have that PIECE of paper aka a diploma. Should you tell this person prior to meeting them that you use cosmetic tape to keep the jowls on your face from hanging too low?
And here is my answer— JUST GO ON ONE DATE. There is plenty of time to divulge your whole life story. If I had told my husband abut all my issues, prior to our first date- I am pretty sure that he would NOT BE MY HUSBAND RIGHT NOW. In fact, I’m pretty sure we never would’ve gone out on that first date. WHY? Because sometimes LESS IS MORE. And often times the things we think define us- don’t really define us at all- rather they are just our perspective and/or insecurities shaping our perceptions of ourselves and everyone deserves to FIRST meet you and draw their own conclusions.
Still unconvinced? Still feel this overwhelming desire to unleash all that you think a prospective partner needs to hear? Well before you unlock the floodgates to your past here are three reasons why you shouldn’t divulge too much before the first date.
#1 Telling your prospective date that you like hoard stuffed animals like a carnival ring master might not bode too well. Yes it is true, I hoard stuffed animals, and if you visited my humble abode you’d see stuffed animals perched precariously throughout on rocking chairs and tucked into every conceivable nook and cranny. Did I mention this fact, about my propensity to collect stuffed animals to my-then husband prior to our first date. NO– and when he came to my apartment to pick me up- he got a great visual. Was that something I should’ve mentioned prior to our first date- I really don’t think it would’ve made a difference- but I do think it might have put a red flag in his head. Sometimes it is just better for a person to experience something rather than being spoon-fed that experience. And 15 years later- I have tripled my stuffed animals collection.
#2 Telling your prospective date that you had rhinoplasty is NOT NECESSARY. Unless you are planning to PROCREATE with this person at which point they might notice that their offspring is sporting a profile that does not seem to resemble either yours or theirs– THERE really is no need to divulge this information prior to your first date- or unless you are planning to multiply with said person. Who you are right here and right now- who you present on this date– THAT IS THE PERSON YOU ARE. Unless you are planning to host a screening of a retrospective video montage- there is no reason for this person to think you are anything other than who you are at this very moment in time.
#3 Telling your Prospective date that you have a checkered past and slept with X amount of people is NOT NECESSARY. Unless you are planning to SLEEP with this person on the very first date ( and I am NOT ONE TO JUDGE) you are not required to share your sexual history. I can say with all honesty if I had divulged my past to my now husband– and if he had divulged his to me… there would be NO MARRIEDMYSUGARDADDY.com