I recently looked at my husband after we had a bit of a heated argument- okay this time we didn't throw any vases at each other or break any lamps but it was one of those arguments that made me feel better about our relationship once we were able to recover from it.
I truly believe our ability to forgive one another- and say we're sorry, is probably one of the reasons why we are still together. Not that I am advocating arguing with your husband so that you can test the power of forgiveness and whether or not it is a force that bonds you. But, there is something very primal about knowing that you can put every last issue you have with your spouse out there into the stratosphere as opposed to sucking it in- deep into your gut until it manifests into a tumor– (okay I have no medical evidence to suggest that happens- you'll just have to trust me) and that despite some really nasty-hard to hear things you might say to one another- you will always forgive. Why? Because you know you have to- that is the pact you made when you got married- or at least the one I made- that I would work at this relationship and essentially fight for it until it was dead.
So if you asked me the question, what makes a marriage work- I would say forgiveness- which for me translates into unconditional love. No matter how intensely you and your husband may get at each other- ultimately you know they are just words and they have no power over you unless you give them power. I actually polled a few friends about this and here were their thoughts…
What makes a marriage work?
Selective hearing loss
Knowing where your mute button is
And the kicker an active fantasy sex life
Got any to add?