So I write this blog, Married My Sugar daddy, and while I see it as a tongue n cheek chronicle of my experiences being married to a man who is 15 years older than me- if I dig a bit beneath the surface I know that our marriage wasn’t an accident by any means. I’ll admit it- I’ve had a “daddy complex” since the ripe old age of sixteen.
It’s not that I didn’t have a father, I did. He was a very loving dad, but having been raised the son of two Holocaust survivors, who I surmise, based on the few sketchy details he’d shared from his childhood, had their own emotional demons to wrestle with and had a difficult time demonstrating their love for him.
And so, when my father had my siblings and me, I think he was emotionally ill-equipped to let us get close to him. I don’t think he was even consciously aware of his emotional distance from us- I believe that it was his normal. His way of expressing love was providing us with food clothing and shelter- just as his parents had with him.
I’m convinced my desire to date older men, stemmed from my need to attain that approval and love from an older man; a surrogate father. I realize now, 18 years into my marriage with my sugar daddy that I wanted to find an older man who would provide me with all the things I felt I had lacked in my relationship with my own dad.
Although I love my husband and have almost no regrets about our relationship- ultimately I want to do everything I possibly can to ensure that my teen daughter feels supported , loved and resolves as many issues with her dad as humanly possible, before choosing a spouse.
Then of course if she wants to marry someone 15 years her senior- I’ll arm her with a laundry list of reasons she might want to reconsider and then give her a big thumbs up.